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How can I begin to feel alone when millions are grieving with us at the moment? Irrfan Khan’s wife Sutapa Sikdar pens an emotional note for her husband

Tears will flow as we will plant a Raat Ki Rani tree, his favourite, to the place where you have put him to rest after a victorious journey. It takes time but it will bloom and the fragrance will spread and touch all the souls whom I won’t call them fans but family for years to come, wrote Irrfan Khan's wife Sutapa Sikdar in her heartfelt note.

Leaving millions of his fans, friends and family reeling in shock, actor Irrfan Khan died on April 29 in Mumbai’s Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital, where he was being treated for a colon infection. Irrfan Khan’s wife Sutapa Sikdar recently took to her Facebook page to pen an emotional post for her late husband. Changing her Facebook profile picture to one with him, she captioned it as, “I have not lost, I have gained in every which way”.

Irrfan Khan’s wife Sutupa Sikdar’s emotional post on Facebook

“How can I write this as a family statement when the whole world is taking it as a personal loss? How can I begin to feel alone when millions are grieving with us at the moment? I want to assure everyone that this is not a loss, it is a gain. It’s a gain of the things he taught us, and now we shall finally begin to truly implement it and evolve. Yet I want to try to fill in the things that people don’t already know”, wrote Sutapa, consoling the diehard fans of the actor’s whose death has left a huge void in their hearts.

Lamenting the sad demise of her husband, Irrfan Khan’s wife Sutapa Sikdar said that the only grudge she had against him is that he had spoilt her for life. She mentioned how Irrfan’s drive to achieve perfection made a lasting impression on her. “It’s unbelievable for us but I would put it in Irrfan’s words, “it’s magical” whether he is there or not there, and that’s what he loved, he never loved one-dimensional reality. The only thing I have a grudge against him is; he has spoiled me for life. His strive for perfection doesn’t let me settle for ordinary in anything. There was a rhythm which he always saw in everything, even in cacophony and chaos, so I have learnt to sing and dance to the music of that rhythm, even with my tone-deaf voice and two left feet. Funnily, our life was a masterclass in acting, so when the dramatic entry of the “uninvited guests” happened, I had by then learnt, to see harmony in the cacophony.

Irrfan Khans’ wife thanks doctors

Thanking the team of doctors who stood by the actor in his difficult journey, Sutupa wrote: The doctor’s reports were like scripts which I wanted to perfect, so I never miss any detail that he sought for in his performance. We met some amazing people in this journey and the list is endless, but there are some whom I have to mention, our oncologist Dr Nitesh Rohtogi (Max hospital Saket) who held our hand in the beginning, Dr Dan Krell (UK), Dr Shidravi (UK), my heartbeat and my lantern in the dark Dr Sevanti Limaye (Kokilaben hospital).

It’s difficult to explain what a wondrous, beautiful, overwhelming, painful and exciting this journey has been. I find this 2 and 1/2 years to have been an interlude, which had it’s own beginning, middle and culmination with Irrfan helming the role of the orchestra conductor, separate from the 35 years of our companionship, ours was not a marriage, it was a union. I see my little family, in a boat, with both my sons Babil and Ayaan, paddling it forward, with Irrfan guiding them “wahan nahi, yahan se modo” but since life is not cinema and there are no retakes, I sincerely wish my children sail this boat safely with their father’s guidance in mind and rockabye through the storm. I asked my children, if possible, they could sum up a lesson taught by their father that has been important to them;

Babil: ’Learn to surrender to the dance of uncertainty and trust your faith in the universe”
Ayaan: “Learn to control your mind and to not let it control you.”

Tears will flow as we will plant a raat ki rani tree, his favourite, to the place where you have put him to rest after a victorious journey. It takes time but it will bloom and the fragrance will spread and touch all the souls whom I won’t call them fans but family for years to come.

Irrfan’s son thanked everyone for the condolences

Not just Sutapa, Irrfan’s son Babli also took to social media on Thursday to thank everyone for the condolences. Taking to Instagram story, Babil Khan wrote, “I’m deeply grateful for all the condolences you beautiful friends are pouring in for me. Although, I hope you understand that right now I’m not being able to reply because my vocabulary is dizzy. I will get back to each one of you but just not right now. Thank you so much! I love you”.

Irrfan Khan son Babli’s Instagram post

Actor Irrfan Khan

Irrfan Khan was diagnosed with a neuroendocrine tumour in 2018 and underwent treatment in the United Kingdom for a year. The versatile actor, one of Indian cinema’s most respected thespians, battled a tumour for several months and had returned to Mumbai some months ago after being treated in London. A Padma Shri and National Award recipient, Irrfan Khan, was much admired for his work.

Irrfan is celebrated for his work in films such as Maqbool, Life in a Metro, The Namesake, Slumdog Millionaire, Life of Pi, The Lunchbox, and many others. He was last seen in Angrezi Medium, which is streaming online after its theatrical release took a hit due to the novel coronavirus pandemic.

Irrfan is survived by his wife Sutapa Sikder, and sons Babil and Ayan.

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