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Dear Rahul Gandhi, when will we get a ‘Made in Gujarat’ moment?

Dear Rahul Gandhi,

Gujarat goes to vote in a month’s time and I am disappointed with you. You have always been an aspirational leader. So aspirational, that you wished for the former US President Obama and his wife to marvel at the products made in different parts of India.

Pretty sure Michelle Obama wakes up every morning and admires the utensils she uses to cook. And the beauty of the patila would make her wonder where the patila has been manufactured. Behold, she would then learn about Jaunpur, Uttar Pradesh.

In a 2014 rally in Mirzapur UP, you had expressed your desire to see Obama wearing Made in Mirzapur watches. Oddly, a few days prior to that rally, you wanted Obama to wear a Made in Allahabad watch. Guess Obama would have to wear watches on both his wrists to please both the cities, after all, his political career would be useless if he can’t help you win at least one election.

You even wanted the Obamas to use Made in Uttar Pradesh bedsheets. I am surprised you haven’t yet asked Putin to check his DMs to Trump while munching on “Made in Ahmedabad” khakhras.

Perhaps you don’t realise that not everyone is obliged to bow to the infinite demands of the Indian political Prince. But that’s fine. I’m sure you don’t know any better.

After you got over your unhealthy Obama obsession, you even aimed at ‘manufacturing’ (Yes. Manufacturing!) Made in Lucknow mangoes.

Speaking of fruits, you also wanted Made in Manipur Pineapple juice. Today you said that Himachal Pradesh, which is known for the apples, should now ‘manufacture’ apples of the other kind.

But I am disappointed. You have been coming to Gujarat since past few months, going on temple run, showing your soft Hindutva side. Your sidekick, Bharat Solanki, son of the great manufacturer of caste divide, Madhav Singh Solanki, has been trying to apply his father’s ‘KHAM’ (Kshatriya, Harijan, Adivasi, Muslim) theory by trying to woo young agitators. For that, an anti-BJP coalition in Gujarat was formed. Perhaps you could try selling ‘caste divide’ to President Trump which is “Made in Gujarat”?

Your MLAs, whoever is left in Gujarat that is, showed how to escape responsibilities when Gujarat faced one of the worst floods. You said ‘Gujarat can never be bought’, perhaps you forgot your own MLAs who sold Gujarat to ensure that they get an election ticket in upcoming elections. Perhaps you could sell ‘escaping responsibilities‘ to Congress leader Ahmed Patel which was “Made in Gujarat”?

Dr. Singh is expected to ‘speak‘ in Gujarat tomorrow. Maybe you could market the “Made in Gujarat” magnetic pull that could even get Dr. Manmohan Singh to talk? Someone who didn’t even bother talking after presiding over scams after scams after scams? Or maybe Dr. Singh could sell ‘courage’ which is “Made in Gujarat”. The courage which is making him speak for Congress and speak for the nation tomorrow.

Gujarat has been an enterprising state since time immemorial. Lothal, a thriving port during Indus Valley Civilisation, was in the heart of Gujarat. Temples in Gujarat have been looted number of times by barbaric invaders. Various manmade and natural disasters have destroyed Gujarat, but Gujarat being resilient has stood the test of time and bounced right back up. This resilience is something we are extremely proud of. Gujarat has grown by leaps and bounds despite adversities. It has grown because of adversities. Gujaratis knew, that to survive, we are on our own.

You should sell this ‘resilience’, Made in Gujarat, to yourself. Considering the people of this country refuse to see the sheer brilliance of your grand plans. Plans to sell Jaunpur made utensils to the Obamas. Plans to sell these “Made in Congress” lies. Plans to sell deception camouflaged as hope. The same ‘hope’ which your party took away from people for decades.

Buy some “Made in Gujarat” resilience, Rahul. You will need it.

Your sincerely,

A proud Gujarati.

Ayodhra Ram Mandir special coverage by OpIndia

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Nirwa Mehta
Nirwa Mehta
Politically incorrect. Author, Flawed But Fabulous.

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