Let’s accept it. The last twenty four hours have been an absolute embarrassment for India. As the first five Rafales touched down in Ambala and TV anchors fell over themselves with excitement, the more thoughtful sections in media pleaded for restraint.
Relax, folks. Why the excitement? It’s just some fighter planes joining the Indian Air Force. You’re acting like something big is happening. As if Priyanka Gandhi Vadra has joined the Indian National Congress. Now, that was a big story.
Anyway, we all know that there are serious doubts and questions that remain around Modi’s Rafale deal. While such high level defense matters are generally kept secret, the public cannot be completely kept in the dark.
And so it is that I have obtained through my sources and decided to publish the details of the UPA’s fighter aircraft deal. So that you can see for yourself how much it is better than Modi’s deal.
Taking inspiration from one of India’s most liberal newspapers, I have decided to publish only this cropped portion from the original document.
There you have it folks. In cold hard writing. Lakhs of crores of frontline fighter jets purchased by the UPA government for the Indian Air Force.
Ah, but where are those fighter planes, you might ask? Let me now share with you an exclusive image of those planes being delivered to India.
Again, taking inspiration from India’s most liberal newspaper, I have decided to crop this photo of the fighter jets flying into Indian air space.
Any more doubts?
Wait. But didn’t UPA Defense Minister A K Antony say publicly that India had no money to buy planes? You might vaguely remember something like this.
Don’t tell me you have fallen for this classic move by UPA to hide our strengths from our enemies. If anything, you should be angry at A K Antony for making such a lame excuse. Who would believe that India was facing a financial crunch in Feb 2014? How could India’s economy be having problems after 10 years of management by the world’s best economist?
I hate to admit it, but I think neither China nor Pakistan bought that excuse. They knew, that with India’s economy booming, the UPA government was flush with cash to splurge on all kinds of fighter aircraft.
Well, what can you do? You have to keep up appearances. Here you can see A K Antony in Sep 2013, valiantly trying to hide from publicly admitting India’s strengths.
He says India had a strategy of leaving the border areas with China deliberately underdeveloped, hoping to make any potential Chinese advance too difficult.
In fact, the UPA invested heavily in trying to keep up the appearance of an undeveloped border. So heavily that decades of Congress governments kept over 60% of households without toilets and 15 crore rural households without tap water in the rest of the country. As long as hundreds of millions of Indians live without tap water, toilets or electricity, who would suspect that we are secretly an economic and military superpower?
As always, thank you Rajiv Gandhiji for your dreams.