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Breathing oxygen? Thank a tree hugger in Aarey forest

Please do not be surprised if you read tomorrow that someone has filed a PIL in Supreme Court asking for a ban on oxygen production because evil Modi is sucking up all the oxygen from the atmosphere with the help of pumps made by crony capitalists like Adani and Ambani.

‘Liberals’ are a strange bunch. They think the world is very much obliged to obey ‘liberal’ logic and the laws of the nature are written in bright rainbow coloured ink. No wonder they hate science and maths, because science and maths do not give a flying eff about ‘liberal’ logic or secular views.

The Covid crisis has been raging for over a year. Initially ‘liberals’ started making intelligent and philosophical sounding arguments about how the virus doesn’t discriminate between Hindus and Muslims, between rich and poor. God bless those who tried to point out that it’s a virus, viruses attack the host body and they do not care about ‘liberal’ logic but who can convince them. They think what they think.

As media reports started going oxygen, oxygen, oxygen in the last few days, the ‘liberals’ recalled their primary school science lessons. They have recalled that oxygen is present in the earth’s atmosphere and something about trees giving oxygen. Lo and behold, the ‘liberal’ brain lit up with a thousand solar-powered biodegradable, zero-carbon bulbs.

The thought process involving trees lead to forests. But since every thought process in the ‘liberal’ brain must be processed to hate Modi and BJP, forest led to Aarey forest, the one that evil Modi was allegedly trying to destroy.

Tweets by Pritish Nandy and Ria D’Souza

Pritish Nandy found a way to put evil Modi in his place today. Since Modi is making oxygen available, he should be grateful to remember how he and his evil government in Mumbai were trying to destroy the giant oxygen production plant in Mumbai called the Aarey forest. The subsequent ‘liberal’ self-glorification is not spelt out here, it is just implied. “See, we saved Aarey forest. Thank us for all the oxygen you all are breathing today.”

The collective IQ of those two tweets above may be lower than the cycle threshold (CT) value if an RTPCR test were to be conducted on that first cursed hypothetical bat that was hypothetically consumed by some unnamed person in Wuhan.

You can try arguing that photosynthesising trees, everywhere from Aarey to Amazon, consume oxygen and emit carbon dioxide when they are not photosynthesising, just like the rest of us. You can argue that it is the poor, always forgotten cyanobacteria, the oceanic plants and phytoplankton that produce the majority of the world’s oxygen, you can also be a little less scientific and try to remind Pritish Nandy that most of the 2700 trees that the MMRCL needed cutting in Aarey were already cut before it was halted. But to what end? ‘Liberal’ logic thinks that Aarey trees produce all the oxygen for India, so ‘liberal’ logic will do what it pleases.

You can also try to remind Nandy and his ilk that only 2% area of the entire Aarey Colony was to be utilized for the proposed metro car shed and the MMRCL project would have eventually significantly reduced Mumbai’s CO2 emissions, apart from providing a decent, efficient mode of transport for the common Mumbaikars, but ‘liberal’ logic doesn’t give a flying eff about actual logic either.

There is no end to the lengths ‘liberals’ can go to assert their argument. They can argue that the very farm laws that were made to benefit farmers are against farmers because a few hundred Arthiyas in Punjab think so, and because they are made by Modi, even if their favourite Congress has been promising to bring the very same laws. They can argue that actual solutions to the so-called climate crisis are not needed and the so-called climate crisis will be solved if you just keep retweeting Greta Thunberg or things like that, but who is to oppose them? Anyone who dares to disagree is either a fascist or a bhakt, often both.

One Dr Raza apparently thinks that Modi is trying to suck all the oxygen from the air and giving ‘impure’ oxygen to people. Impure here means oxygen that is being produced by companies that make steel and copper, so oxygen might be mixed with iron and copper. Also Modi is taking away all the oxygen from the air and it may cause breathing problems to anti-Modi people in future. (Modi-bhakts can anyway survive on bhakti alone).

Just like ‘liberals’ doubted ‘Modi’s vaccines’, they are going to dislike Modi’s attempts to suck the oxygen out of the atmosphere, with the help of pumps made by Adani and Ambani. Please do not be surprised if you read tomorrow that someone has filed a PIL in Supreme Court asking for a ban on oxygen production because evil Modi is sucking up all the oxygen from the atmosphere with the help of pumps made by crony capitalists like Adani and Ambani.

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Sanghamitra
reader, writer, dreamer, no one

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