A Pakistani news website named Tribune has carried a blog titled, Fudging the population: The missing 90 million Indian Muslims.
The author named Shakir Lakhani seems to have a problem with the number of Muslims which are reported to be there in India. He claims that the few rich Indian Muslims are adamant that the number of Muslims in India is much more than what’s officially reported.
After “smartly” detailing the census numbers, he claimed that the Indian governments have deliberately suppressed the Muslim numbers so as to keep “Hindutva Extremists” calm, who otherwise would resort to outright violence and murder.
He then claimed that he had done a lot of research in the past few months to come up with his theory. He then promised, he would try and explain that to us in simple terms. This explanation involved quoting Jana Sangh website and doing a lot of mathematical “wizardry”. After throwing a lot of numbers he concluded that there are a total 22% Muslims in India as opposed to the 14.23 % reported in the 2011 census.
Things didn’t stop at that and the article questioned why Indian Muslims didn’t speak up against this misinterpretation. It saved the best for the last and elucidated that “Hindu extremists” should ask themselves why Muslims are growing so rapidly, while Hindus are declining in India.
But before the “Hindu Extremists” could ask themselves this question, the article proceeded to provide a theory that perhaps Muslims are growing rapidly because a high protein diet (including beef) increases fertility.
It was certainly commendable that the author attempted to use concepts of both mathematics and biology in a single article to provide proof of gossip. We rarely get to see that. Perhaps he can also do further research to try and ascertain if concepts like birth control and family planning (which are normally associated with keeping a check on reproduction) are a Zionist conspiracies?
This article predictably has generated a lot of buzz online. Already it has been reproduced by another Pakistani news website named “Pakistan Herald”. The original article also has about 92 comments which might be sufficient to conclude that he has managed to rile a lot of people up.
Unsurprisingly, this isn’t the only time Pakistani websites and media houses have managed to conjure up some crazy news stories with wild insinuations :
- A Pakistani TV channel named Dunya News had sensationally claimed that a recent stand-off between India and China had escalated to a full blown war. They later proceeded to reveal exclusive information about the attack. Things became so crazy that not only India, but even China, who goes out of its way sometimes to cater to Pakistani eccentricities, termed the news as fake.
- In 2010 Pakistani newspapers published fake Wikileaks cable in order to try and attack India. Using these fake cables, Pakistani media tried to claim that Indian spies were supporting Islamist militants in Balochistan and Pakistan’s tribal belt.
The Pakistani media has also displayed high aptitude and a supremely wild imagination when it comes to concocting conspiracy theories out of thin air :
- Soon after the death of veteran actor Om Puri, a Pakistani TV channel named Bol TV had amusingly claimed that he was murdered on the orders of Narendra Modi and Ajit Doval. Things progressed from being just amusing to hysterically amusing when the same TV channel claimed that Om Puri’s ghost was caught on camera looking for Ajit Doval to avenge his death (Can’t make this stuff up!).
- Another conspiracy theory was spread by a certain Neo News which claimed that Donald Trump was born in Pakistan’s lawless North Waziristan region. Named as Dawood Ibrahim Khan, he apparently studied at a madrasa until 1954 when a car accident killed his parents. We wonder if “Dawood Ibrahim Khan” chuckled when he finally, thanks to Neo News, discovered his true ancestry and said “This is ridiculous. RIDICULOUS! This is Fake news!”
We suspect Pakistan, in their little bubble of ridonculous fantasies, have already weaved tales of how they rode blindfolded on one eyed leprechauns to defeat to Indians in wars. Can’t put it past them now, can we?