Monday, March 1, 2021
Home Variety Satire Shobhaa De writes an ode to Imran Khan - On the hot seat.. and...

Shobhaa De writes an ode to Imran Khan – On the hot seat.. and hotter than the seat!

So, Pakistan has yet another Prime Minister, But guess what? It ain’t the same this time.

The weather has changed – a drizzle has been replaced by a sizzle.

Because when this minister was at his prime, he bowled many a maiden over and many a maiden, over. He has had more wives than world cup wins. In cricket, he only knew boundaries, whereas, in romance, he knew no boundaries.

At this point, he is easily a Bachelor of Marriage.

But there’s one wedding of his, which not many could’ve anticipated – that he’d successfully marry cricket and politics together in his illustrious career, like none other.

So my hearty congratulations to him on yet another marriage, perhaps the biggest in his life. So how long will this last? It remains to be seen. It’s early days, of course. And we’ll get our answer once the honeymoon is done.

One certainly would hope though, that with Imran Khan leading by example, his country becomes Pa-kiss-tan, with romance blooming everywhere.

If I were to describe our subcontinent with a band name, I’d say “Guns N Roses” – but now is our chance for having the guns make way for the roses.

The more roses be red, the more hate be dead. The fragrance of love always triumphs over the flagrance of hate.

After all, their new PM is someone who would, sure as hell, still beat his Bollywood namesake (remember him?) fair and square, were he to act in one of our movies.

Jaane tu, ya jaane na…this Lahore belly has more fire in it than the Delhi belly! With him around, we wouldn’t hate love stories, we’d love them! Okay, I took a small break there. Anyway, break ke baad..(sorry!).

At 65, and without a 56″ inch chest (meh!), he would soon have heated exchanges..err, nay, make that heated arguments (this lady won’t ever change, will she?); with the who’s who of the world. Knowing Imran, I’m sure he’s going to tackle this just like he dealt with all the world cups he played (or the ladies, I dare say). There’s the yorker called the Indo-Pak enmity and then the bouncer called the economy. This is a game that has no strategic timeout. So may he always score sixes, and keep all sexes happy!

With previous prime ministers who, ironically, weren’t sharif, by any means, Narendra Modi had it relatively easy. But from today, he has met his match, in this macho man.

Imran always had muscle power and he’d now have it figuratively too.

I’m pretty sure his body is all beefed (Yikes! I hope I don’t get lynched for using this word) up for this new challenge ahead of him.

He’s a gem-in-a country (sorry Imran, I really couldn’t resist that, so please have some Reham on me! Okay now, seriously, I’m done!) filled with corrupt politicians.

He will not rob, he’ll only make your heart throb.

All said and done, here’s hoping that all goes hunky-dory from here, with this hunk at the helm!

PS – Raghu, please come back here!

(Just in case you are wondering, obviously it is not written by Shobhaa De. It is a work of satire.)

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