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Not just Rahul Gandhi’s leadership, Congress also believes in magic mushrooms that can make you fair

Now that Congress accuses PM Modi of using a facial that costs Rs 8 lakhs per day, it seems the facial must have real diamonds, with tears of unicorns mixed with clay from the moon surface.

Opposition leaders have found faults with just about anything associated with PM Modi. They have attacked his humble beginnings, his family, his mother, his education, choice of words and now, even his skin tone.

So far, only Yami Gautam has been at the receiving end of all fairness jokes. But with recent political developments, it seems fair skin is not just a joke, Congress takes fairness very, very seriously.

Before the Gujarat elections, Congress leader Alpesh Thakore had made a statement that PM Modi was earlier dark like him. But he had begun eating a magic mushroom that costs Rs 80,000 per piece and he eats 5 of them a day. And that is how he has become fair.

Twitter users had gone berserk after the mushroom theory. Everyone was talking about the magic mushrooms that can make people fair.

More than a year later, it seems that the Mushroom theory has not been dismissed by Congress leaders. Today, Congress leaders Pawan Khera made similar remarks.

Fairness seems to be a real obsession for Congress leaders. We all have been under the impression that it is because of their devotion to Jawaharlal Nehru and Indira Gandhi that the Congress leaders have been loyal to their descendants. Maybe it was not the name, it was the skin colour. The milky white glory of the skins of Rahul, Sonia and Priyanka Gandhi is probably the magic-spell that keeps Congress leaders loyal. It also explains why Varun and Maneka Gandhi never managed to become their favourites.

With Khera’s remarks, it seems clear that PM Modi’s skin tone is a cause of worry for Congress leaders. Is it one of the commandments in the Congress doctrine? Thou shalt not be fairer than your master? Why else can be PM Modi’s skin colour be a topic for contention for Congress leaders then?

Khera’s remarks also have added another dimension to Thakore’s theory. Diamond facials. We are now waiting for Rahul Gandhi to take it further and accuse PM Modi of being in cohorts with diamond merchants Mehul Choksi and Nirav Modi to ensure the daily supply of diamond dust that would make his facial worth Rs 8 lakhs.

Twitter users are having a field day over the hypothesis.

Considering that PM Modi began using the diamond facials after he assumed office, the total cost of facials for the entire term should be Rs 146 billion. Wonder how many Rafales could that have bought.

There are diamond facial kits available on e-commerce sites for Rs 200 to Rs 500. Now that Congress accuses PM Modi of using a facial that costs Rs 8 lakhs per day, it seems the facial must have real diamonds, with tears of unicorns mixed with clay from the moon surface. Whatever means the Congress uses to justify the costs, the one person who will find this revelation most hurtful is Yogi Shri Ramdev. Why, Modi Ji, Patanjali is offering facial products way cheaper than that, and they are also Made in India.

Till now, we had the misconception that it is only Indian mothers and aunties who are obsessed with fair skin tone. But like always, it is Congress, who is bringing us the revolutionary new ideas. Alice ate a mushroom in the wonderland that made her bigger or smaller in a blink. However, our geniuses in Congress have discovered a mushroom that makes a person dark or fair. There are some wild theories being heard that Rahul baba goes to secret vacations to sample some of these mushrooms, but let us leave it at that.

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Sanghamitra
reader, writer, dreamer, no one

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