Friday, December 3, 2021
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Five ways to survive Sanjay Manjrekar’s commentary

For weeks now, people in India have looked around clueless to find a solution to a problem called Manjrekar's commentary. Here is an attempt.

In this era where Indian society has been sharply divided on almost everything, there is one great unifier – Sanjay Manjrekar’s commentary.

Every Indian hates it with a passion but Star Sports executives don’t seem to notice it. The reasons vary, some don’t like his bland commentary which offers no insights, some don’t like his constant negativity that turns people suicidal, some don’t like the fact that he constantly criticizes their favorite player, but the hate remains constant.

Since Star isn’t going to remove him, we came up with some ideas on how to survive a match when Manjrekar is doing commentary.

1. Hindi imposition – Yes Manjrekar can pop up on Star Sports Hindi as well but as long as he is on Star Sports English, Hindi commentary is totally Manjrekar-free. Just keep the batteries in your remote and switch whenever Manjrekar appears on the English commentary. You may even hear some good commentary if Ganguly or Gavaskar are on air at the time.

2. The Ravi Shastri way – Start drinking with the toss and keep drinking throughout the game. You won’t care who is saying what on commentary, whether it is Sanjay Manjrekar or Mayanti Langer. In fact, by the end of the game, you won’t even care who is winning and who is losing.

3. The Manmohan Singh method – The good old mute the TV option. You will miss out on the atmosphere from the ground and on the commentary from others as well but a small price to pay for a Manjrekar free experience.

4. Be a masochist – Derive pleasure from your pain. Revel in the punishment unleashed on your ears by Star Sports. Take inspiration from Congress leaders still asking for more Rahul Gandhi or from BJP leaders still seeking support of Lutyens liberals, there is a masochist in all of us, you just need to bring that person out.

5. Switch to Radio – Yes there are other things on the radio apart from Mann Ki Baat. You can enjoy the commentary from the World Cup on the radio and it is a lot more fun due to the added suspense. When commentators on radio say ,”Oh that’s high in the air”, you don’t know whether it is going to be 6 or a catch in the deep or a caught behind or a caught and bowled or even LBW at times. So far, Radio is a Manjrekar free zone so make the most of it while you can.

 

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Sandeep Kadian
Sports, Satire, Politics, Golgappa.

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