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HomeVarietySatireDargah at Rotherham in UK to be built to fight bad press around 'grooming...

Dargah at Rotherham in UK to be built to fight bad press around ‘grooming gangs’

The Pakistani community in UK, also known as the South Asian community when they indulge in any crime, is planning to build a Dargah of some Sufi saint in Rotherham town of England.

The Pakistani community in UK, also known as the South Asian community when they indulge in any crime, is planning to build a Dargah of some Sufi saint in Rotherham town of England. The need to build a dargah or mazaar was felt strongly over past week after news reports about grooming gangs of Pakistani men resurfaced online and attracted global attention, especially on X.

“All was well for almost a decade but this Elon Musk guy has spoiled it all,” said Zubair, a professional nail cutter living in Greater London, originally hailing from Karachi in Pakistan. “Left wing media had helped us, and called ‘grooming gangs’ as fake news and conspiracy theory, but now the news is being believed again!” Zubair frustratingly added.

Zubair said that he had tried to add community notes on X to ‘fact-check’ news about grooming gangs in order to declare them fake news, but all his efforts went down the drain. He then decided to attend the emergency meeting of community elders to mull over ideas on how to stop the bad press and negative PR around the Muslim community, especially Pakistani men, that was spreading fast.

“We need to build a dargah at Rotherham,” proposed Asad Khan, a third-generation British citizen whose great grandfather hand migrated to UK from British India. Although the great grandfather of 73-years-old Khan was born in Bombay of British India, he had started identifying himself as a Pakistani after 1947.

Khan argued successfully that a dargah will help cover the crimes of the community as it will act as a center of soft power, thanks to the amazing good PR Sufi saints enjoyed in popular narrative and literary circles.

“Just look at Ajmer of India. A similar scandal happened there. People related to dargah were also involved for f**k sake, but see what happened! Hindus still flock to the dargah. Indian leaders and celebrities offer chadar there,” Khan gave the clinching argument by citing the case of Ajmer Dargah of Khwaja Moinuddin Chishti and Ajmer Sex Scandal of 1990s.

The proposal was met with wild hooting, clapping and ecstasy, sources present during the meeting confirm to OpIndia. A few people were seen dancing in circles like Sufis in celebration. “A cloth to cover us, a sheet to shine! That’s what we need, we’ll be all fine!” and other slogans were heard.

The community is reportedly sending a committee to India next week to study the Ajmer model. Another committee is reportedly meeting a historian named Audrey Truschke to suggest name of a Sufi saint whose dargah can be built at Rotherham.

“Aurangzeb will be good. He too was Sufi!” said Zubair, when asked if the community had any preferences.

“The land for dargah is not a problem, Waqf will claim some part in Rotherham,” he added, “Or our community will buy a piece of land from open market. I’m ready to contribute whatever I’ve earned by nail cutting.”

(This is a piece of satire, just in case it was not so apparent)

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Rahul Roushan
Rahul Roushanhttp://www.rahulroushan.com
A well known expert on nothing. Opinions totally personal. RTs, sometimes even my own tweets, not endorsement. #Sarcasm. As unbiased as any popular journalist.

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