UNESCO, the internationally reputed organisation that issues ‘best in the world’ certificates whenever such a need exists, today issued a statement declaring Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation, or the BMC, as the best Municipal Corporation in the world.
The BMC is the civic body responsible for the maintenance and governance of Mumbai and is believed to be the richest Municipal Corporation in India. Now it is the best too.
But rather than feeling happy and thanking UNESCO for the prestigious distinction, the BMC officials are believed to have flown off the handle and are very unhappy with UNESCO. Top level sources have confirmed to us that a legal notice is being drafted, as we write the report, and will be served to the UNESCO’s India office in New Delhi, which was earlier declared the best capital city in the world.
“He UNESCO wale swatala kay samaztat (Who do the UNESCO people think they are). They will openly mock us and we won’t take any action? We very well understand what is news and what is parody. We were already planning to sue an RJ for a parody song, now we are going to sue them for misrepresentation of facts, slander, and defamation among other things,” a BMC official told this reporter.
Apart from sending a legal notice to UNESCO in New Delhi, BMC is reportedly googling if UNESCO has any offices in Mumbai, where they suspect the international organisation of breeding mosquitoes.
“We will give them the certificate of being the best mosquito breeders in earth!” the BMC official declared.
Our sources indicate that BMC will seek 5 billion US dollars in damages from UNESCO for declaring them the best municipal corporation of the world. We asked the official as to what BMC would do with the $5 billion as they don’t even seem to be using up their existing funds for any constructive purpose, the official threw this reporter into a pothole, thus filling it up and repairing the road.
We have requested UNESCO to declare our reporter as the best reporter in the world.
(note to BMC : the above report is a news satire aka news parody, and our office has no mosquitoes)