Tuesday, March 2, 2021
Home Variety Satire Man threatens to start using 2G internet to protest against acquittal of 2G scam...

Man threatens to start using 2G internet to protest against acquittal of 2G scam accused

On Tuesday, much to the surprise of many, a special court decided acquit all the accused in the 2G spectrum scam, which as per the prosecuting agencies caused a loss of Rs 30,000 crores to the public exchequer. According to the special court judge, the prosecution failed to prove its charges as a result of which they were dropped.

A resident of Bangalore named Mr Mukesh Jiowala though seems to have taken offence at this verdict, and has announced his decision to protest against it by threatening to start using 2G internet in place of his regular high speed 100 Mbps broadband connection.

2G internet is considered one of the slowest forms of internet available to man, with download speeds on the network barely exceeding 10 kbps. Such a frustrating experience is believed to either turn the user into a mad man requiring to be admitted to a mental asylum or makes him a grand master in being patient, which immediately enables him to attend nirvana.

We sent our reporter to know more about this serious matter and Mukesh too agreed to speak to us, “Well you see, the moment I noticed that the verdict had acquitted all the accused, even though the prima facie case against them was pretty strong, I became outraged. I rapidly started dishing out very angry tweets but it failed to quell my anger. As a result I knew I had to take it to the next level”.

“Now I didn’t really want to do cliched protests like fast unto death or threatening to burn myself alive, which generally don’t bother people anymore. So I decided to use 2G against the 2G verdict and came up with this plan, which I knew would shock people. I would hence forth only use 2G internet to carry out all my internet activities until all the accused are punished. So what if I would have to view buffering 144p videos, on my 50 inch 4K Ultra HD TV, I will at least send out a strong message.”

Such a threat by Mukesh has been brought to the notice of a local political party which has sent its workers to try to dissuade him from going ahead with his protest. Its local leader named Narendra Gandhi spoke to us on a condition of anonymity.

“This is a very serious matter, it is known that using 2G internet is a far more painful than starving to death. Just last month I did a fast unto death protest for two weeks but all the while I was binge watching Netflix on a 4G connection and I only felt hungry a week into my fast, when the video buffered for a while.”

“So forget not using the internet, if Mukesh starts using it on 2G, god knows what will happen. We have urged the CBI and Modi government to rapidly file an appeal in the High Court and pursue this case as top priority, which is probably the only way Mukesh may be dissuaded”.

Author’s note: The above piece is a work of satire, obviously no human would be suicidal enough to attempt such an extreme form of protest 

  Support Us  

Whether NDTV or 'The Wire', they never have to worry about funds. In name of saving democracy, they get money from various sources. We need your support to fight them. Please contribute whatever you can afford

Hemant Bijapurkar
Contributor at OpIndia.com, Wish to write a great trilogy someday!

Related Articles

Trending now

FIR against Aam Aadmi Party MLA Abdul Rehman for molestation, assault, was earlier booked for anti-CAA violence

Abdul Rehman, who is a legislator from the Seelampur constituency, claimed that the allegations against him are 'false' and 'baseless'.

Dissenting Congress leaders plan to hold another event in Haryana, question party’s election strategy in West Bengal

Hitting out at the Congress, G-23 leader Anand Sharma questioned the decision of the party to forge an alliance with radical cleric Abbas Siddiqui's Indian Secular Front (ISF).

‘Go drink urine’: Pro-Khalistani elements attack ‘Tiranga and Maple rally’ organised by Canadian Indians, insult the Tricolour

Pro-Khalistani elements attack a 'Tiranga and Maple' rally organised by Indian Canadians to celebrate the co-ordination between the two countries.

After Khalistanis, Akali Dal and Sikh religious body extend support to Deep Sidhu who desecrated Red Fort during Republic Day riots

Shiromani Akali Dal leader Manjinder Singh Sirsa revealed that Delhi Sikh Gurudwara body has extended legal support to Deep Sidhu.

Confusion about Pakistani cricketer Shahid Afridi’s birthdate intensifies as he claims he turned 44 in 2021: Details

The precise birthdate of former Pakistan cricketer Shahid Afridi has been shrouded in mystery for the longest time.

Barcagate Scandal: Former FC Barcelona president Bartomeu arrested following raids at club offices

Former president of FC Barcelona Josep Maria Bartomeu has been arrested following a raid at the club's offices.

Recently Popular

‘Inserted her hand claiming she was planting a tree’: LGBT activist Divya Dureja accused of sexual assault under pretext of shamanic ritual

A popular LGBT activist Divya Dureja has been accused of sexual assault by Elodie Gendron under pretext of a Shamanic ritual.

The Hindu ‘journalist’ Suhasini Haidar puts out misinformation about ISRO satellite launch: Read details

Suhasini Haidar, National Editor of 'The Hindu', put out false information on social media in attempt to mislead the public.

Gujarat: Ahmedabad woman Ayesha commits suicide by jumping into Sabarmati River, last video message goes viral

A video has gone viral on social media where Ayesha, a young woman, can be heard announcing her decision to commit suicide.

US President Joe Biden casually drops the N-word during Munich Security Conference, accused of racism on social media

The N-word is considered as one of the hateful words that were first uttered in the 17th century. Its origin can be traced back to the Spanish word 'negro', which is often used by white supremacists to deliberately offend the African-American community.

Rashmi Samant, president-elect of Oxford Student Union resigns after online attacks over her Hindu roots and old social media posts

An Oxford University staff member dragged Rashmi's parents in the controversy, using their display picture which had Lord Ram's photo.

Australian media slam Justin Trudeau for abstaining vote against China, calls his government the most pathetic in the history of the Five Eyes

Sky News Australia host called Justin Trudeau government the most pathetic in the history of Five Eyes nations
- Advertisement -

 

Connect with us

253,147FansLike
521,262FollowersFollow
23,800SubscribersSubscribe