Bollywood celebrities never fail to surprise us. From depicting Karwa Chauth as patriarchal to campaigning against Diwali, we see all kinds of activism from them. Now that they are done shaming Diwali and finished having extravagant New-Year parties that were absolutely environment-friendly, they have found a new obsession. It is shaming the recently released Padmaavat for its alleged “regressive” portrayal of the Medieval customs and practices.
Shefali Vaidya, prominent writer and columnist took to Twitter to express her take on the new-found feminism and the tweet thread had us in splits. She imagined neo-feminist versions of several iconic movie scenes.
She starts from the Bollywood epic Sholay where Gabbar Singh has Viru tied up and is asking Viru’s lady love Basanti for a dance performance.
#FeministSholay
Veeru – Basanti, in kutton Ke samney mat naachna
Basanti – Stop being so phallogocentric and regressive. ‘Kutte’ is an expression of patriarchal binary thought. I own my sexuality and I will dance because it is my body!— Shefali Vaidya (@ShefVaidya) January 29, 2018
Then comes the 90s favourite Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge where a visibly agitated Simran is just being ‘set free’ by her patriarchal, Sanghi father. How indecent of Bollywood to have Simran portrayed as a caged bird. Shame on them.
Papaji – Ja Simran ja, jee le apni zindagi
Simran – Stop mansplaining Pop. Check your patriarchal privilege. Don’t need you to patronise me. I will decide whether to live my life or not.
— Shefali Vaidya (@ShefVaidya) January 29, 2018
The Amitabh Bachchan and Shashi Kapoor starrer mega-hit ‘Deewar’ comes next.
Vijay – Aaj mere paas building hai, property hai, bangla hai, gaadi hai.. kya hai tumhare pass?”
Ravi – Mere paas maa hai.
Maa – Don’t objectify me. Calling me Maa is social constructionism. Get out of this phallogocentric thinking.
— Shefali Vaidya (@ShefVaidya) January 29, 2018
Ms Vaidya doesn’t spare Hollywood too. Understandably so, because after all, that is where most of our Bollywood gets their ‘inspiration’ from.
#FeministAFewGoodMen
Col. Jessop: Truth is, this movie should have been named Many Feminist Women. Son, we live in a world of patriarchal constructs like good or bad. We use words like misogyny, cisgender as the backbone of a SM life spent outraging, you use them as a punch line!— Shefali Vaidya (@ShefVaidya) January 29, 2018
She comes back to another classic, Pakeezaah.
#FeministPakeezah
Salim – Aapke paon dekhe, bahut haseen hai.Sahibjaan – Dear Salim, ‘At the end of your letter, I felt reduced to my feet – only. Women have other body parts sir. They have eyes, mouth, and Vagina. You are being exclusivist when you only praise my feet.
— Shefali Vaidya (@ShefVaidya) January 29, 2018
How can we mention Bollywood and forget King Khan and Farah Khan, especially, the extravagant dance drama called Om Shanti Om
Shantipriya – ‘Is ek shabd Vagina ki keemat tum kya jaano Ramesh babu …Publicity ka raaz hota hai yeh shabd Vagina …feminist ke vocabulary ka sartaj hota hai yeh shabd Vagina …har regressive patriarch Ke tweet ka jawaab hota hai yeh ek shabd Vagina’
— Shefali Vaidya (@ShefVaidya) January 29, 2018
Ms Vaidya, that was hilarious. Thank you for a good laugh amidst all the deafening lunacy of the post-Padmaavat era.
