Tuesday, September 21, 2021
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Woman heard crying in Sonia Gandhi’s house after Delhi Court convicts Ariz Khan in Batla House encounter case

Moments after the verdict became public, a woman could be heard crying at interim Congress president Sonia Gandhi's residence. Further investigation into the matter to decipher the identity of the individual crying proved inconclusive.

A Delhi Court has ruled that Ariz Khan is guilty in the Batla House Encounter case. He was found guilty in the murder of deceased police inspector Mohan Sharma.

Moments after the verdict became public, a woman could be heard crying at interim Congress president Sonia Gandhi’s residence. Further investigation into the matter to decipher the identity of the individual crying proved inconclusive.

While G-23 leaders insist that it was Smt. Sonia Gandhi herself who was crying, sources close to the Nehru-Gandhi parivar insisted that the family had been plagued recently by the ghost of Indira Gandhi weeping profusely over the political prospects of the Congress party.

Sources claimed that Rahul Gandhi had seen a woman draped in a white saree roaming through the house and shedding tears in misery. Acharya Pramod was summoned by the party to resolve the crisis, however, he found little success in ghost-hunting much like his political career.

However, G-23 leaders rubbished such claims and recalled how Smt. Sonia Gandhi had wept tears of agony following the Batla House Encounter. The conviction of Ariz Khan in the matter has drawn a similar response from the head of the Congress party, they say.

Sources claim to have seen a desolate Sonia Gandhi walking around with swollen red eyes but they insist that she was not crying due to the conviction of the terrorist in the Batla House Encounter case. Some claim that she is upset because it is a major blow for the party ahead of the crucial elections in five states.

“The Congress party has managed to stitch some meaningful alliances this election season. Abbas Siddiqui’s ISF in West Bengal, Badruddin Ajmal’s AIUDF in Assam, the IUML in Kerala. Ariz Khan would have been a nice addition to the set but unfortunately, that plan is now ruined,” a source admitted.

The BJP has latched on to the news to further question the party’s loyalty towards the country. However, there were some who were concerned with the rumours of ghosts in the bungalow. Spokesperson Sambit Patra, as a friendly gesture, sent the Nehru-Gandhi parivar an exclusive signed copy of his blockbuster hit ‘Maulana baith, Mandir wahi banega’ and suggested that the number be played on loop to rid the family of the ghost.

Rahul Gandhi was not too happy with the gesture for reasons unknown to us. Tehseen Poonawalla, loyal aide of the parivar, believes that the ghost is a Sanghi troll who is just jealous that the former Congress president falls asleep within 30 seconds.

Journalists, meanwhile, are perplexed that the ghost is not intimidated by Rahul Gandhi’s six-pack abs. They recommended that the scion of the Nehru-Gandhi parivar perform push-ups in order to scare away the ghost. Nevertheless, Congress leaders rubbished such recommendations suggesting that push-up competitions against ghosts was a much different affair than one with school kids.

Shekhar Gupta, who has been angry with the Congress party in recent times, smashed a couple of laptops banging his head against the wall wailing why was Rahul Gandhi more concerned about a stupid ghost when the party was going to be targeted over the Batla House Encounter.

Shivam Vij, eminent columnist at Shekhar Gupta’s The Print, politely reminded that it was not a stupid ghost but rumoured to be the ghost of Indira Gandhi. Shivam Vij was spotted coming out of a hospital couple of hours later with bandages wrapped around his head.

Former Vice President Hamid Ansari cited it as further evidence that Muslims were under threat in today’s India. Sources told us that this particular joke was staler than Indian stand-up comedy.

Salman Khurshid, meanwhile, is untraceable in all of this. Readers would recall that it was Khurshid who had informed the nation that Sonia Gandhi had wept profusely over the Batla House Encounter. Sources close to the parivar confided in us that until then, even Sonia Gandhi was not aware that she had cried profusely over the same.

But once she heard Khurshid saying it on television, she cried profusely moaning about the unparalleled morons that have come to dominate the Congress party.

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K Bhattacharjee
Black Coffee Enthusiast. Post Graduate in Psychology. Bengali.

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