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HomePoliticsRahul Singh Chaddha's prolonged Yatra is pointless and clueless, just like the megaflop Amir...

Rahul Singh Chaddha’s prolonged Yatra is pointless and clueless, just like the megaflop Amir Khan movie

Wannabe starlets, out-of-job actors, rejected professional protestors, seasonal politicians, economic soothsayers on extended leave from Chicago, abusive stand-up comedians, everyone gets to come, smile and pose with Rahul Gandhi in his walk, like our neighbourhood wedding reception.

Rahul Gandhi has been walking. For months now, people flicking through newspapers and scrolling through gadgets among the drama-loaded Indian political news have been noticing that Rahul Gandhi has been walking. The mainstream media and a certain section of social media have been going gaga over it, for some unknown reason. Everyone has been watching Rahul Gandhi has been walking. But ask why, and there will be no answer. Nobody knows why is he walking.

Maybe that is the thing about Rahul Gandhi anyway. Nobody knows why he does what he does. Nobody knows why he keeps contesting elections despite losing again and again. The people of the country have made it very clear that they are not going to vote for Rahul. Whenever Congress does manage to win, it is because of the regional leaders and individual efforts by some dedicated MLAs who have been doing their party a huge favour by NOT antagonising the people of the country as their top leadership does.

Nobody knows why the so-called prince of the party goes away on vacations abroad after declaring major party campaigns. Nobody knows where he goes. Nobody knows why he kept screaming hoarse over non-existent scams and repeating the same dumb speeches like ‘Made in Jaunpur Pateela and Made in Chhatisgarh mobile phones‘ when everyone and their grandma knew they mean nothing, and are never going to bring votes for the party. Nobody knows anything about the point or purpose behind anything that Rahul Gandhi does.

Similarly, the Bharat Jodo Yatra has been another of the usual Rahul Gandhi ‘activity’. When the poor sincere leaders of Congress were desperately trying to salvage the fortunes of their party in Gujarat and running a spirited campaign in Himachal, because there were elections coming, the Prince was walking somewhere in the South, oblivious to all political ‘Moh Maaya’.

It is not that he is walking under great hardships. There are luxurious container vehicles fitted with every comfort imaginable that follow his entourage. He eats and sleeps well, and his comforts and clothing, security and health are very well taken care of, unlike the Laal Singh Chaddha he is trying to emulate. The beard is vanity because the container vehicles have toilets and everyone knows that he is not shaving only because he doesn’t want to.

Attached washroom and toilet inside the luxury containers that are being used for Rahul Gandhi’s Bharat Jodo Yatra, image via Indian Express

Aamir Khan’s Laal Singh Chaddha was made and released with a lot of pomp and ceremony. As we all know by now, the actor is particularly fond of preaching and absolutely loves to give sermons. He probably thought that since his insufferable sermons have seen commercial success in the past, nobody would remember Forrest Gump, especially the unwashed Indians, and he can just make a scene-by-scene copy, throw in some India-Pakistan, “Hindu Muslim Sikh Isai” type of primary school assembly hall level preachings and can laugh all the way to the banks.

Sadly, Indians didn’t fall for his sermons this time around. The remake was a resounding flop. Those who did watch it, kept wondering what exactly was the point of the prolonged movie. What exactly was Aamir khan trying to do by destroying a Hollywood classic with his ridiculous expressions and insufferable sermons? However, one person probably watched it very seriously. Since almost all methods of “launching” Rahul Gandhi into Indian politics have been tried, and retried, again and again, his ‘advisers’ probably thought what is the harm in trying once more? Indians have a weak spot for pilgrimages, Yatras and marches anyway.

So Rahul began his walk, and has been walking in the news space since September 7. Every day, some obscure starlet joins him and walks a few steps with him. There are photographers around him to take nice photos. Everyone and their grandma in this country know that as an MP and the son of a former PM, he gets Z+ level security paid by the taxpayers. The starlets and wannabe actors consider themselves especially blessed if Rahul holds their hands, for some unknown reason. Then they go their own way and Rahul is again seen walking with another person in the next photo. Sometimes he holds hands, kisses and hugs people.

It is indeed a lot like relatives and family friends lining up to get clicked with the bride and groom at wedding receptions, people coming, smiling, getting clicked and moving on like bags on airport baggage belts. Wannabe starlets, out-of-job actors, rejected professional protestors, seasonal politicians, economic soothsayers on extended leave from Chicago, abusive stand-up comedians, everyone gets to come, smile and pose with Rahul Gandhi in his walk, like our neighbourhood wedding reception.

While Rahul Gandhi walks, Congress got swept out in Gujarat and Himachal is already showing signs of faction war among the party leaders. We all saw what happened in Punjab and how Rajasthan has Gehlot and Pilot playing the role of ‘Naaraz phupha’ alternatively. But somehow, the party Prince is untouched, unbothered about all that. He has been clicked walking, for some unknown reason. And quite frankly, the Indians have now reached a stage where they have finally learned to accept the fact that Rahul Gandhi is here to stay. Governments will come and go, Congress presidents will come and go, and elections will come and go, but Rahul Gandhi will be there in media space perpetually, still being hailed as the ‘youth icon’, still learning and still being projected as the future PM of India by people who have been clicked with him, to prove their proximity to the family.

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Sanghamitra
Sanghamitra
reader, writer, dreamer, no one

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