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I am a man. Nothing justifies being a sexual predator. Being a pervert enabler is not ok

Yesterday, it was revealed that a comedian associated with the AIB was a sexual predator. As woman after woman came forward with allegations of sexual misconduct against Utsav Chakraborty, the woke millennial feminist came forward with an ‘apology’ if it can be called that.

In his first tweet about the incident, Utsav said that the whole issue needs a lot of contexts and is far more complicated than it appeared to be.

It was only after this initial statement that began the truly most astonishing and ridiculous defence of one’s sexually predatory behaviour. I called his thread on Twitter an ‘apology’ but I have second thoughts about it now as nowhere in it were mentioned the three simple words, “I am sorry”.

The thread was the most comprehensive instance of mental gymnastics to avoid taking responsibility for one’s appalling conduct. At one point, Utsav proclaims that receiving nudes was an instant rush and he would basically ask anyone who was nice to him to send him nudes. He says, “To me, getting nudes from a person was an instant rush. I was not in pain for that brief moment. Someone trusted me with that information. I would feel honoured and not ugly. But this caught me into a weird spiral. Where I would ask anyone who was nice to me in the slightest.”

Your mental health is not an excuse for your being a sexual predator. There’s no way any man can justify any of this. This is wrong. It appears that woke male feminists do not have the minimum IQ to comprehend that asking women for nudes or sending pictures of your penis to them is wrong and indefensible. It’s embarrassing to witness the manner in which Utsav has tried to defend himself. There is nothing in that thread that justifies his conduct. Many people have mental health issues but it appears only male feminists use it as an excuse when they are revealed to be sexual predators.

Now, it has become evident that many many men in the stand-up scene were aware of his vile behaviour and yet ignored his disgraceful conduct while lecturing the rest of the world on how to treat women. There is an effort now to further the narrative that all men need to introspect about their behaviour here.

Sorry, but we need to be more specific than merely saying that the ‘men’ need to introspect. The only people who do need to introspect here are the ones directly involved with the incident. I am inclined to believe that there are decent men even in the stand-up scene and there is something perverse in asserting that people who were completely unaware of the incident need to introspect as well.

It is a convenient excuse that male feminists come up with whenever they are caught ignoring sexual misconduct by one of their own. They come up with vague statements that ‘men’ need to introspect and ‘men’ need to treat women better. Sorry, but I am having none of it.

As a young man, I can’t find one good reason why I or any of the good men I know need to introspect for the sexual misconduct of a man we don’t even know and the subsequent cover-up by his woke millennial feminist friends. We had no part in this, we do not tolerate such conduct in our own friend circles. Dear Male Feminists, this is on you. You have participated and developed a culture that encourages your comrades to harass women sexually, this whole thing is on you, not ‘All Men’.

This is a classic tactic that every guilty person uses, “Well, everyone does it!” And it’s not them that need to introspect but everyone. Sorry, a culture where asking for nudes and sending nudes is considered acceptable is alien to most of us. We are not part of that culture, we did not harass any women. Your friend did it and you covered it up, have some shame instead of lecturing us even at this disgraceful juncture of your lives.

Most men are aware that asking strangers to send nudes is not appropriate, most men will either disown their friends or inflict consequences on them to ensure that he rectifies his conduct. But here we have people who were well aware of their friend’s terrible misconduct and yet did absolutely nothing to stop it. And yet, they have the gall to tell us that we should introspect. Sorry, pal. You covered up for a sexual predator. I don’t appreciate being lectured by people who cover up for sexual predators.

The whole incident also reveals why so many female feminists have such a terrible opinion of all men. It appears to me that it’s so because most of the men in their circles are either sick perverts themselves or cover up for people who are perverts. One can almost sympathize with them.

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K Bhattacharjee
Black Coffee Enthusiast. Post Graduate in Psychology. Bengali.

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