Sunday, July 12, 2020
Home Variety Satire Court issues show cause notice to Lord Ram for polluting Delhi during Diwali

Court issues show cause notice to Lord Ram for polluting Delhi during Diwali

Earlier, a case was filed in Bihar against Lord Ram for exiling Sita, but the same was dismissed after the judge asked 'where are the witnesses?'

Also Read

Nirwa Mehtahttps://medium.com/@nirwamehta
Politically incorrect. Author, Flawed But Fabulous.

In a move that has sent shockwaves across the Lutyens Delhi and the bylanes of Chandni Chowk alike, the Super Court has sent a show cause notice to Lord Ram for filling the air of the national capital with toxic fumes.

Lord Ram, according to Hindu scriptures, returned to his abode in Ayodhya after 14 years of vanvas and fighting off Ravan who had kidnapped his wife Sita. Even as the elite Delhiites could not decide whether it was misogynist of Lord Ram to ask for agni pariksha from his wife to prove her purity or it was just plain romantic that a man waged a war against a country to bring back his wife, they were stumped over the recent Supreme Court judgement of restricting/banning bursting of firecrackers during Diwali. You see, they were not sure whether to celebrate cracker-less Diwali which may not necessarily bring down the toxicity in the air or cry over the fact that lakhs of workers in firecracker factories are now rendered unemployed.

Amit Modi, who runs a tea stall across the India Habitat Centre in Delhi was not very happy with the firecracker ban. He said, “jab tak iss desh mein liberals naam ki mantharayein ghoom rahi hai, tab tak desh ki Super Court jaisi Kaikeyi apne Ram ko ghar aane nahin dengi (As long as these Mantharas disguising as liberals will strut around, the Kaikeyi-like Super Court will never let Lord Ram come home).

They will come driving fuel guzzling luxury cars and then cry about firecrackers.” Spraying a rust orange fountain of paan on a poster of the cheap minister stuck near his stall, he added, “They have reduced the festival to only firecrackers. Diwali as a festival has more to it than firecrackers.”

The Super Court, however, is not buying any of it. “The entire concept of Diwali is absurd because as Congress said, Lord Ram never existed. This is a right-wing conspiracy by communal Internet Hindus to hurt the secular fabric of our nation by poisoning the air that ‘a particular religion’ also breathes. First, the Hindus took away their right to divorce their women willy-nilly and now, they want them to breathe poisonous air. The SC won’t stand for it”

When asked how they would explain the air toxicity being high even before Diwali, and what their opinion of Christmas is, considering they oppose “mythological” celebrations and festivals, they said “We have initiated an inquiry into that. We believe the Hindus start secretly bursting crackers from a month in advance just to throw these ludicrous reasons at us. In fact, we think it is these Ram bhakts who are rushing to farms to burst crackers under the guise of poor farmers burning stubble. We have handed over the case to CBI, who despite being a Modi parrot according to Congress, has recently found its spine because let’s face it, it opposed Modi, the owner of the proverbial caged parrot.

As far as Christmas is concerned, you must be a communal, rajma-chawal eating, lasagne hating, cow-belt bigot to even compare Christmas with Diwali. I have visited Mohan Lazarus personally, and he showed me how Jesus walked on water. In fact, we think that it was actually Santa Clause who burnt Lanka and saved Sita in a sleigh which was pulled by red-nosed reindeers. This line of questioning is un-secular and when Congress comes back to power, you will be jailed for curbing my freedom to obfuscate.”

This is not the first time Lord Ram has been in trouble. Earlier, a case was filed in Bihar against Lord Ram for exiling Sita, but the same was dismissed after the judge asked ‘where are the witnesses?’ Lord Hanuman was also once summoned by a District Magistrate in Bihar (again) but it turned out to be a clerical mistake.

Meanwhile, Lord Ram is hoping that this is also a clerical mistake and the notice is to his namesake, who masquerades as a historian.

Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece and no offence meant to anyone, including the judiciary. We all could do with a little bit of laughter on our own expense.

  Support Us  

Whether NDTV or 'The Wire', they never have to worry about funds. In name of saving democracy, they get money from various sources. We need your support to fight them. Please contribute whatever you can afford

Nirwa Mehtahttps://medium.com/@nirwamehta
Politically incorrect. Author, Flawed But Fabulous.

Trending now

After shielding China, WHO chief now congratulates Maharashtra for ‘containing’ coronavirus amid exponentially rising cases

WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus has been under fire over allegations of covering up the pandemic while 'siding with' the Chinese govt.

Frustrated at not getting a bank job, teenager sets up his own fake SBI branch in Tamil Nadu, three arrested

The Panruti Police in Cuddalore district of Tamil Nadu have arrested three persons, including the son of former bank employees, for cheating customers by running a fake branch of the State Bank of India in the locality.

Sachin Pilot reaches Delhi with 25 MLAs amid speculations of Rajasthan government collapse, Gehlot holds late night meetings

Ashok Gehlot claimed that the State government was stable and would continue to remain so despite all efforts to the contrary

Telangana: Man takes dead body of his coronavirus positive relative to graveyard in auto rickshaw, flouts safety norms

In the image that has now gone viral, neither the relative of the deceased nor the driver of autorickshaw can be seen wearing any protective gear.

Pakistanis are shocked that Turkish actress does not cover herself head-to-toe in real life like her role in TV show Ertugrul, slams for wearing...

Pakistani Islamists troll Turkish actress Esra Bilgiç for her modern clothing, not traditional dress like her historical role in a TV show

‘Maaro, Kafiro ko Maaro’: From creating fake alibi to mobilising thousands of Muslims against Hindus, read what Tahir Hussain did in his own words

Disclosure Statement in the chargesheet which was narrated and signed by Tahir Hussain in his own words, reveal a sinister design during Delhi riots

Recently Popular

The curious case of ‘Drone Boy’ who has made 600 drones using broken mixer grinders and televisions. A fact-check

While 'drone boy' Prathap NM has claimed to have made 600 drones using e-waste, not a single photo or video of them exist

‘Drone boy’ Prathap NM makes a statement after OpIndia fact-check: Here is why his explanation makes little sense

'Drone boy' Prathap NM says he won't show his drones due to intellectual property issues, but will show certificates from unregistered events

Stand-up comedian apologises for insulting memorial to Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj in Arabian sea after MNS workers vandalised studio

The stand-up 'comedian' Agrima Joshua had made scornfully derisive remarks in her video against the Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj memorial that is going to be erected in the Arabian Sea

‘Maaro, Kafiro ko Maaro’: From creating fake alibi to mobilising thousands of Muslims against Hindus, read what Tahir Hussain did in his own words

Disclosure Statement in the chargesheet which was narrated and signed by Tahir Hussain in his own words, reveal a sinister design during Delhi riots

Pakistanis are shocked that Turkish actress does not cover herself head-to-toe in real life like her role in TV show Ertugrul, slams for wearing...

Pakistani Islamists troll Turkish actress Esra Bilgiç for her modern clothing, not traditional dress like her historical role in a TV show

After shielding China, WHO chief now congratulates Maharashtra for ‘containing’ coronavirus amid exponentially rising cases

WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus has been under fire over allegations of covering up the pandemic while 'siding with' the Chinese govt.

Frustrated at not getting a bank job, teenager sets up his own fake SBI branch in Tamil Nadu, three arrested

The Panruti Police in Cuddalore district of Tamil Nadu have arrested three persons, including the son of former bank employees, for cheating customers by running a fake branch of the State Bank of India in the locality.

Sachin Pilot reaches Delhi with 25 MLAs amid speculations of Rajasthan government collapse, Gehlot holds late night meetings

Ashok Gehlot claimed that the State government was stable and would continue to remain so despite all efforts to the contrary

Telangana: Man takes dead body of his coronavirus positive relative to graveyard in auto rickshaw, flouts safety norms

In the image that has now gone viral, neither the relative of the deceased nor the driver of autorickshaw can be seen wearing any protective gear.

Latest updates and important links about COVID-19 coronavirus

Live statistics and tracking of news related to COVID-19 coronavirus with focus on India.

Amitabh Bachchan and son Abhishek test positive for Coronavirus, admitted at Mumbai hospital

Megastar Amitabh Bachchan shifted to Nanavati Hospital after testing positive for Coronavirus

After claiming BJP supporters were trolling her in the guise of Shiv Sena supporters, comedian Agrima Joshua apologises to Maha Vikas Aghadi alliance and...

Stand-up comedian Agrima Joshua found herself in a lot of bother after a video clip of one of her performances went viral on social media.

Uttar Pradesh govt forms SIT to probe the crimes and rise of slain gangster Vikas Dubey, his links with police

SIT formed by UP govt to probe the crimes committed by slain gangster Vikas Dubey, and the connivance of police with him

Riot convicted Hardik Patel appointed as Working President of Gujarat Congress by Sonia Gandhi

Hardik Patel, who was convicted of rioting during 2015 Patidar agitation, appointed as Working President of Gujarat Congress

Pakistanis are shocked that Turkish actress does not cover herself head-to-toe in real life like her role in TV show Ertugrul, slams for wearing...

Pakistani Islamists troll Turkish actress Esra Bilgiç for her modern clothing, not traditional dress like her historical role in a TV show

Connect with us

235,713FansLike
404,458FollowersFollow
273,000SubscribersSubscribe