Home Variety Satire The man who thought he was Wayanad’s Pavarotti

The man who thought he was Wayanad’s Pavarotti

Those who had bought the tickets looked a trifle embarrassed or made excuses.

The beaming Star ended his last song with a cocky flourish.

Mighty pleased with his repertoire, which he had personally selected with the help of a few connoisseurs ahead of their game, he waited to bow down to thunderous applause.
But alas, it never came.

A tepid clap here and there, a lukewarm if at all polite murmur & a half smile as the audience seemed more in a rush to get out, collect their cars, catch their buses & metros, head out to their dinners plans & reservations … or as the Star heard later to another show where The Singer had everyone spellbound with his melodious voice.

- Ad - - article resumes -

The promise of more in this show had the audience demand one favourite after the other. Years of practice & hard work of The Singer were evident.

His craft well-honed and superbly tuned, The Singer bowed to accept what seemed like a non-stop applause of appreciation.

~Encore ! Encore !~ The crowds yelled.

And an Encore it was!

Meanwhile, on the dark stage, the Star looked at his Chorus in a white rage.

~You were so bad !~ he spluttered.

~You didn’t back me up adequately. Some of you were so out of tune.~

The Chorus wrung their hands and whined.

~We did our best. We did our best.~

The Star’s sister was on stage too by now. She always swept in at the end as she believed herself to be a Show-Stopper of great value.

Clapping her hands for the staff to wipe her brother’s sweaty brow, she signalled a minion to pour him some champagne.

‘You were very very good’, she said to him soothingly. ‘Very good’.

However, turning to The Chorus ~We were expecting applause as nothing heard ever before and that didn’t happen.

I will find out who among you didn’t do your best. I will find each one out & you will pay for this.~

While The Chorus whinged & whined.
~We did our best. We did our best.~

From the dark shadows of the theatre emerged their Mother.
Everyone stood a little straighter, The Chorus, The Staff, The Minions.
Beady-eyed she looked them all over.
~Someone must be sacrificed~ she thought.
~A head, any head needs to be chopped off. They must live in fear or it’s all over for us.~

To her son she said.

~These stupid people don’t recognise a thing of beauty. How tastes have changed! Their standards have been lowered with that crude music on offer these days. Only those who recognise our lineage of Stars appreciate your voice, your timbre & your choice of music. Take heart. Your sister & I will get to the bottom of this.~

But by now The Star had stomped off and locked himself in the Green Room.

The Sister went running after him and then more slowly The Mother, who in her day had sung her songs too, to a rapturous and fawning audience. But clever that she was, she had a marionette & they together put on quite a ventriloquist show.

~Open the door, my son.
See who has come to see you….~

~Open the door, my brother.
See who has come to see you…~

~No, no. I will meet no one.
I will not sing any more.
I’ve had enough!
Why should I sing for our supper when I could be anywhere in the world enjoying myself.
Find someone else!
Or at least get me a Marionette.~

~I would have my son. I would have.
But all the new ones have a mind of their own & we can’t have that!
Didn’t we put our minds to it & find you a wonderful theatre down South? Next time we’ll make some more appreciative arrangements.…~

Turning to her assistant The Mother hissed.
~Call a meeting of any Three Faithfuls. Immediately.~

~You!~She pointed her gnarled finger.
~We need scapegoats. Fall guys. Anyone to take the blame. Go find names. Spread the word. Let the people talk about them, discuss them & get the attention of my son.~

Faithful One faithfully began laboriously writing a piece on how the music was poorly selected and arranged. How the person in charge missed the mood & what the people wanted to hear.

How the social secretary didn’t help by writing puerile notes & antagonising almost everybody. How both took large sums of money and disappeared.

Faithful Two wrote how the foul mouth percussionist couldn’t get along with the orchestra & just said & did his own thing, lending a jarring note to the entire show. How an eccentric old musician had a tendency to hit the left notes when the right ones would have been more soothing.

This despite The Star being well read, well educated & from an impeccable musical lineage failed to recognise this.

~Good. Good!~ said The Mother,
~We need to shed the dead wood. Find a few others who can be kicked out. This is the time !~

Faithful Three is still writing his …

In days to come, the people will have a hearty laugh, looking forward to the next episodes of the tantrum throwing Star.

Those who had bought the tickets looked a trifle embarrassed or made excuses.
~He wasn’t prepared. He’s young. He was let down.~

While others couldn’t resist saying ~We told you so. He’s no Star material.~

No doubt, a neutered Chorus will return to another poorly attended show.
So will the wily Mother & her daughter, because they believe they’ve handled & sorted the ‘problem’.

But the decision to end it now and make an escape or carry on with this mad burlesque show rests entirely with the ‘well read, well educated, from an impeccable lineage’ Star.

Wait for more.

Help Opindia Reach Every Indian. Share This Post
We need your support to survive in the media industry. Please consider paying us for the content we produce:

To know more about these payments, please click here.

Big Story

BJP leader P K Krishnadas had alleged that the campus was an SFI stronghold and that the principal was denying the ABVP members the right to carry out their organisation's work.

2019 World Cup Is Here!

Catch the latest on Cricket World Cup as it unfolds, special coverage by Opindia

Proud to be a brand - Made in India?
Now, Advertise on Opindia

Here are 15 famous quotes from Harsha Bhogle during his commentary stint

The famous Indian commentator, Harsha Bhogle, born on July 19 in Hyderabad is celebrating his 58th birthday today.

Mangaluru villagers caught Mohammad Ansari raping a calf, police arrests villagers for ‘hurting religious beliefs’

In the Kunjathbail village in Mangaluru, Mohammad Ansari was caught red-handed by the villagers while he was raping a calf.
Couple forced out of village; husband pressurised to accept wife’s religion

Hindu boy’s family forced out of village for marrying Muslim girl, police advices boy to convert as villagers threaten to kill

Newlywed Hindu boy and Muslim girl approach SSP for protection as villagers threaten to kill them and local police ask the boy to convert

Mangalore: Mohammad Ansari rapes a cow by tying its limbs, villagers catch him in the act, arrested

The villagers also made Ansari touch cow’s feet and ask for forgiveness for raping her. However, when Ansari approached the calf, the animal freaked out and started running.

Revisiting Sainbari, a blot on Indian Democracy: When Communists made a mother eat rice with her dead sons’ blood

The Sainbari incident remains the most horrific instance of political violence in the country.
Delhi Police bust Taliban controlled drug cartel that used jute bags to smuggle heroin worth 5000 crores

Delhi police bust Taliban controlled heroin racket, Afghan-Pakistani cartel worth 5000 crores discovered

Delhi police's special cell has busted a sophisticated Afghan-Pakistani heroin cartel that used heroin-soaked jute bags carrying spices and dry fruits to smuggle the drug into India.

Abusive actor Ajaz Khan arrested by Mumbai Police for instigating violence through social media

Mumbai Police arrests small-time actor Ajaz Khan after he mocked the police on TikTok
Salma Ansari's temple plan receives AMU's objection

AMU administration’s jolt to Mrs Ansari’s secularism pitch, says no to temple plan inside ‘Chacha Nehru Madarsa’

Salma Ansari, the wife of former vice president Hamid Ansari, had announced recently that she will have a temple built inside the 'Chacha Nehru Madarsa' that she runs in AMU campus.

Netizens ‘express concern’ over Priyanka Chopra’s asthma after a picture where she is smoking cigarette went viral on social media

Twitter users even dug up Chopra's own old tweet condemning smoking where she had claimed she does not smoke. While things could change with time so do personal preferences, the hypocrisy is quite baffling.

Serial abuser Ajaz Khan, who was arrested for inciting communal tensions, sent to judicial custody for 14 days

Ajaz Khan was arrested by the Mumbai Police Crime Branch for uploading provoking videos promoting enmity between different communities on his social media pages
Subscribe to Day's Top Stories
- Advertisment -

Latest articles

Connect with us

Help Opindia Reach Every Indian. Share This Post