I need a therapist. Coronavirus has led to a total lockdown and I have been spending past 10 days at home on forced quarantine with my Sanghi father. UGH. This is even worse than dying with mysterious, terrifying bat-virus induced Chinese virus. I mean, c’mon. How can a country that manufactures products that go kaput in less than 2 weeks created a f*cking virus that just refuses to die even after almost three months.
And now I am forced to live 24×7 with my Sanghi family who voted for Modi.
On Thursday, when Modi addressed the nation on coronavirus outbreak situation in India, I live tweeted and even used #moronavirus hashtag because Modi asked everyone to clap instead of telling us what he has been doing to stop this pandemic. Matlab, doesn’t he know the loud noise aggravates my migraine? And how is this noise pollution a good idea to thank health workers? As responsible citizens, I am paying my taxes and that pays their salaries. That is my way of thanking them.
When my favourite comedian tweeted how he’ll show middle finger to Modi’s call for action, I knew there is still hope in the world. I was pretty confident that no one is that jobless enough to clap in balconies. How many people even have balconies in their houses? And after all, Delhi voted for Kejriwal. No way these people are going to be bhakts.
But then he tells people to go and clap in their balconies at 5 PM on a Sunday. Because, clearly, people have nothing better to do. BUT then at 4:30 PM my Sanghi father rushed to balcony with a Shankh. WHY DO HINDUS HAVE SHANKH JUST LYING AROUND RANDOMLY IN THEIR HOMES? He went and clapped and entire colony joined in.
HOW COULD THEY DO THIS? Not even two months back you showed Modi his place and he lost elections. And now this? Even my Mallu neighbour uncle who hates Modi’s guts and believes coronavirus is a hype was also out in his balcony clapping.
I hate this coronavirus shit. China, get your act together and don’t make such viruses again. The morally corrupt nation doesn’t deserve you.