After getting strong feedback that stories starting with “My cab driver told me that…” are now getting funnier, the English media gang in India has been trying out innovative options to make their stories sound more credible. Siddarth Varadarajan who is an American citizen and the editor and co-founder of The Wire made one such innovative attempt today, through a tweet thread.
He started with – “I’m not easily given to pessimism!”. Oh my my! You open The Wire at any given hour, the only things you read are stories of gloom and doom. You open the timelines of any of the journalists belonging to this gang, all you see is a pessimistic view of India and how we will literally disintegrate as a country! Siddarth Varadajaran and the entire gang thrive on being pessimistic. Siddarth Varadarajan’s – “I’m not easily given to pessimism!” would have been a great opening line for a thread written on 1st April. I began to wonder how an astute editor like Siddarth Varadarajan lost the plot while firing his opening salvo itself.
He then proceeds to tell us that he is in Perugia, Italy for a conference. And that there he met a couple – a Hindu husband and Muslim wife. I immediately remembered that he once tweeted about some experience in a café in Paris. And then I began to wonder why his experiences of speaking with people happen only in foreign lands and not in India. Maybe because he can’t make up stories like these in India? Or maybe he thinks it is beneath his dignity to meet people in India?
Anyways, let’s move on to his alleged conversation with the couple. The guy who is not “easily given to pessimism” has told the couple that the picture is gloomy in India. So much for being optimistic! And what examples does he cite to bolster this claim? That Aakar Patel has been stopped at an airport from leaving the country and that his only crime was to sign an Editors Guild report in 2002 that “indicted Narendra Modi”.
Again, oh my my! By the power vested by themselves upon themselves, the supreme lords of the highest court on planet earth – The Editors Guild – have indicted Narendra Modi back in 2002. The mind boggles to think of the arrogance with which these people conduct themselves. Who is The Editors Guild to indict anybody? They often are criticized by their own fraternity for not doing anything at all for editors or journalists – instead of focusing on the job they are meant to do; these people are going about handing indictments to all and sundry! Is it therefore any wonder that The Editors Guild has become a joke onto itself?
After enlightening how awesome Aakar Patel is and how “Gogoi was a rotten CJI”, he also tells us that “The couple mentioned horrid anti-Muslim WA forwards sent by ‘uncles’ who should know better.” Day in, day out, the English media gang makes sarcastic comments about “WhatsApp University”. I am even reminded now of how Harvard fame, Nidhi Razdan, held a t-shirt that read WhatsApp University – where facts are not facts! And suddenly today, just because the couple told him about forwards on WhatsApp that he tends to agree with, WhatsApp has become credible beyond any doubt!
At this point, it looks like Siddarth Varadarajan realised that he is being pessimistic contrary to his staggering opening line, he starts to sound optimistic. We are told that the couple asked him – “How come The Wire does what it does”? I think Siddarth Varadarajan wanted to frame this differently but ended up exposing the entire paradox of the pessimistic arguments he and his ilk make day in, day out! Because how this came out is the exact opposite of his intention – If Modi is fascist, how come you are able to say it so openly and thrive? If the situation is so gloomy and scary, then how come you are able to write so freely? How can you live under a dictatorship and yet abuse the same government day in and day out?
However, the best line in his entire tweet tirade was that he had the audacity to write “we can’t let them decide what India will be”. That an American citizen who doesn’t get to vote in India has the gall to make this statement is hilarious beyond imagination! Contrary to what the likes of Siddarth Varadarajan may believe, the citizens of India are mature enough, confident enough and intelligent enough to know whom to elect and whom to reject. They get to decide what India will be – not an American editor roaming around the world and trying to make up stories!
