Home Politics How should you, an Adarsh Liberal, react to Uttar Pradesh election results

How should you, an Adarsh Liberal, react to Uttar Pradesh election results

Uttar Pradesh is a big state and so much is at stake over who wins there. As the state goes into the third phase of polling, most reports suggest that the state can throw up any kind of result on March 11.

Now as an Adarsh Liberal, this is not an envious situation to be in. You want things to be in black and white. For example, you are intellectual and everyone else disagreeing with you is a troll. This is how simple things should be. Not this uncertainty about what happens in Uttar Pradesh and how are you supposed to feel.

However, there is a cheat-sheet that can help you with coming up with reactions once the Uttar Pradesh results are announced. Please follow this algorithm to remain a liberal intellectual:

- Ad - - article resumes -

If BJP loses badly and is pushed to hopeless third position (doesn’t matter who is first):

Modi has lost the moral right to govern. Bihar had destroyed the Modi wave, and now Uttar Pradesh has destroyed the brand Modi. Being ruled by a government that has lost popular support is nothing but EMERGENCY. Mid-term elections must be called right away. Intolerance is rising. Zinc is blasting. Tigers are being killed. OMG I AM DEAD. *make the next peg, party time!*

If BJP is runner up, and SP-Congress wins:

This is victory of secularism. Akhilesh Yadav is Indian of the Year 2017. This is ‘coming of age’ of Rahul Gandhi. Priyanka Gandhi has nice dimples. Economic Times should win Pulitzer Prize. And obviously, Modi should resign.

If BJP is runner up, and BSP wins:

Dalit-Muslim combine will defeat Hindutva in 2019 too. We need reservations in media because media didn’t give BSP a chance. We also need reservations in private sector, cricket team, movies, and on Twitter (the caste shit should hit the fan and BJP supporters must be provoked into making anti-Dalit and anti-reservation remarks). Rahul Gandhi is a failure (unless Congress wins Punjab, in which case ‘coming of age’ of Rahul Gandhi should be tried, but only after Mayawati is sworn in and things have settled down a bit).

If there is hung assembly with all parties similarly placed:

Call up someone like Nira Radia. Start thinking of a deal for securing BSP-SP-Congress government. More than op-eds, lobbying is needed. And yes, it’s a defeat of BJP when compared to 2014 general elections, so you may write something on that.

If there is hung assembly with BJP being the single largest party:

Re-run the articles you wrote after 2014 general elections blasting the ‘First Past The Pole’ electoral system. Insist how the majority voted against BJP. Call up someone like Nira Radia as well as someone like Amar Singh. Check WhatsApp messages from Maneka Gandhi and Varun Gandhi.

If BJP alliance wins a simple majority:

Check the vote percentage. If they lost vote percentage compared to the 2014 general elections in the state, everyone write at least three articles highlighting this. Write articles on how BJP may split because there is no unanimity over who should be the Chief Minister. Also, write that BJP has become an election winning machine with no focus on governance and development.

If BJP sweeps the elections with huge majority:

*abuse BJP supporters online and call them trolls* *unfollow and unfriend Economic Times journalists* *make the next peg, you must forget this happened.*

Help Opindia Reach Every Indian. Share This Post
We need your support to survive in the media industry. Please consider paying us for the content we produce:

To know more about these payments, please click here.


Big Story

India has successfully launched its second mission to the moon, the Chandrayaan-2.

2019 World Cup Is Here!

Catch the latest on Cricket World Cup as it unfolds, special coverage by Opindia

Proud to be a brand - Made in India?
Now, Advertise on Opindia

Sushma Swaraj shuts down trolls

Former EAM Sushma Swaraj shuts down a troll, Irfan Khan, who wishes death upon her

Sushma Swaraj was condoling death of former Delhi BJP President when troll insinuated that she too will die soon.

Omar Abdullah comes in support of Imran Khan who was not given official welcome on arrival in US

Khan's humiliation seems to have affected former Jammu and Kashmir chief minister Omar Abdullah who sprung to his defence
Islamic extremism

Two youths, Shekhar and Basant forced to chant religious slogans by a mob that showed them Tabrez Ansari’s video, stabbed when refused

As Shekhar and Basant refused to raise religious slogans, the angry men reportedly stabbed them with knives.

Netizens ‘express concern’ over Priyanka Chopra’s asthma after a picture where she is smoking cigarette went viral on social media

Twitter users even dug up Chopra's own old tweet condemning smoking where she had claimed she does not smoke. While things could change with time so do personal preferences, the hypocrisy is quite baffling.

Mangalore: Mohammad Ansari rapes a cow by tying its limbs, villagers catch him in the act, arrested

The villagers also made Ansari touch cow’s feet and ask for forgiveness for raping her. However, when Ansari approached the calf, the animal freaked out and started running.

Mangaluru villagers caught Mohammad Ansari raping a calf, police arrests villagers for ‘hurting religious beliefs’

In the Kunjathbail village in Mangaluru, Mohammad Ansari was caught red-handed by the villagers while he was raping a calf.

Class nine student beaten by senior students for protesting ‘Allah Hu Akbar’ during National Anthem singing in school

When a Hindu student protested allah hu akbar chants during national anthem in school, he was badly thrashed by Muslim students

Here are 15 famous quotes from Harsha Bhogle during his commentary stint

The famous Indian commentator, Harsha Bhogle, born on July 19 in Hyderabad is celebrating his 58th birthday today.
Couple forced out of village; husband pressurised to accept wife’s religion

Hindu boy’s family forced out of village for marrying Muslim girl, police advices boy to convert as villagers threaten to kill

Newlywed Hindu boy and Muslim girl approach SSP for protection as villagers threaten to kill them and local police ask the boy to convert
Andrea sobs while pleading that her husband is innocent

Abusive actor Ajaz Khan who was arrested for inciting communal tension was ‘framed’, claims his wife, says he did nothing wrong

Khan was arrested by Mumbai Police on Wednesday last week for posting objectionable videos amounting to communal incitement on Tiktok and other social media websites
Subscribe to Day's Top Stories
- Advertisment -

Latest articles

Connect with us

173,723FansLike
160,032FollowersFollow
74,914SubscribersSubscribe
Help Opindia Reach Every Indian. Share This Post