Pakistan has something in abundance that China needs desperately – Donkeys

What can Pakistan give to the world? No, we are not talking about terrorism, that’s a terrible joke. We are talking about a proper, legal tradable commodity.

Actually, Pakistan is not that hopeless, it is among notable exporters of agricultural produce like mangoes and rice, and it exports sports goods like footballs. However, most of these exports are to the European countries, USA, or the Gulf nations, while Pakistan imports a whole lot of things from China.

With such a huge imbalance in the trade deficit, what can Pakistan really give to China so that it doesn’t become a colony of China? Pakistan seems to have found a solution.

Donkeys!

Yes, this year, Pakistan has seen a huge growth in the donkey population, with the local media priding itself that the country is now in the top three nations as far as the donkey population is concerned. It should be noted that in terms of human population, which also grows really fast in Pakistan, Pakistan is at number 6, but in terms of donkeys, it is now at number 3. Admirable achievement.

So, what caused donkeys to breed faster than humans in Pakistan?

No, donkeys were not watching ‘donkey porn’ and getting horny, though Pakistan tops in such internet searches too. Donkeys don’t have internet access in Pakistan, at least literally.

It appears that donkeys could breed fast in Pakistan because China needs them to!

In 2017, it was reported that China faces a shortage of donkeys, and in 2018, we get the news that Pakistan has broken into the top 3 countries having donkeys. Dost ho toh aisa! 

And if you thought it was just a coincidence, no. China and Pakistan are actually working on a project that aims to breed donkeys.

China needs donkeys because of the same reason China needs almost all animals in the world. To make some exotic medicine. In this case, it is an ancient medicine called E’jiao. The Chinese believe that this medicine works wonders. In 2nd century BC, a royal concubine apparently used E’jiao to prevent her miscarriage and her son became the emperor of China.

E’jiao is made by boiling donkey skin. China reportedly had the world’s largest donkey herd until 3 decades ago. But the growing demand for E’jiao saw most donkeys in China being skinned and boiled, and it now faces an acute donkey shortage.

Apart from ivory, rhino horns, tigers and pangolins, donkeys were being killed with fervor to meet China’s demand that over the years, many countries like Ethiopia, Tanzania, and Botswana have incurred ban on slaughter and export of donkey skins.

Pakistan, however, has quickly risen to meet China’s demand. So much so that with the ongoing CPEC, 80,000 donkeys are to be exported to China per year, thanks to China-assisted breeding programmes in Pakistan, their officials had announced last year.

So Pakistan started breeding donkeys with Chinese help recently and within barely a year, the donkey-breeding programme has met with spectacular success.

Pakistan also loves donkeys because there is a domestic market for donkeys too. Donkeys are used widely for transportation in Pakistan, and they are part of the local culture with donkey cart races being a popular sport. Donkeys are also safer than other animals in Pakistan, because many Islamic scholars believe that eating donkeys is haram.

Now it seems that donkeys are all set to become a major tool of diplomacy too. Many experts have often argued that Pakistan will become a colony of China due to huge debts the Islamic country is poised to create after trade deficit and big investments by China. How Pakistan keeps crying about ‘human rights abuses by India’ in Kashmir but keeps quiet about Chinese treatment to local Muslims, including wives of Pakistani men, is an example of that process of becoming a colony of China.

We hope that Pakistan can breed so many donkeys that it repays the Chinese loan and finds the tongue to talk about Chinese aggression.

And before it is able to do either of the above, please watch this video where a Pakistani reporter is riding a donkey, and talking about the achievements of Pakistan in the donkey sector:

Donkey business flourishing in Lahore and look at the way my old Freind Amin Hafeez reporting donkey business by risking his life pic.twitter.com/FHYuQrYOqP

— Hamid Mir (@HamidMirPAK) December 19, 2018

So enthusiastic are Pakistanis about the prospects of donkey selling that the reporter is barely able to sit still on the poor animal’s back. The last time a Pakistani reporter showed such dedication in his job, he inspired a character in Salman Khan’s movie Bajrangi Bhaijan, let us hope our belligerent neighbour breeds so many donkeys that it finds better livelihoods for their population. One day, Bollywood may be inspired to make a movie based on two donkey breeding lovers going to China.