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Home Variety Satire Robert Vadra's PR stunt, where 'journalist' fell off her bicycle, not part of Congress...

Robert Vadra’s PR stunt, where ‘journalist’ fell off her bicycle, not part of Congress effort to make Rahul Gandhi look smarter, clarify top leaders

Yogendra Yadav declared in his naturally slimy voice that the 'journalist' fell off her cycle because she did not demand the repeal of his farm laws.

A magical event came to pass on Monday, the 22nd of February. One of the richest ‘farmers’ in the country hopped on to a bicycle to ride into his office to protest against the rising fuel prices in the country. His Land Cruiser followed him at a snail’s pace as he rode the bicycle in peace. There was a ‘journalist’ by his side to cover his unique form of protest. And then, it happened. The ‘journalist’ fell from the bicycle she was riding. The protagonists in our story are Robert Vadra and Mausami Singh.

Mausami Singh had only pointed out that the BJP would call the whole charade a gimmick given that Robert Vadra had his Land Cruiser tail him, was wearing expensive Suit-Boot while riding an expensive bicycle. The sharp glare that particular line of questioning elicited from the official son-in-law of the Congress party appears to have been enough to throw the reporter from her bicycle.

Nevertheless, Robert Vadra appears to have quickly regained his composure and assured the audience that they would not bother about such trivialities. He assured the audience that the audience would be grateful that he was with them, riding on his bicycle to office. He was confident that the audience would not pay much attention to the elephant in the room, in this case, the Land Cruisier on the road.

Robert Vadra continued, “Why should I be in any other kind of dress to just please everybody? And, if I have a car it is standing behind. I am on a cycle. It’s hot. I am getting to office. I am getting to know what the common man is feeling.” The first part of that statement has forced people to wonder if Priyanka Vadra’s husband was taking a dig at Rahul Gandhi for his Temple run spree ahead of elections. It could be a part of the sibling rivalry underway in the Congress party, some argue.

There does not appear to be any indication that the PR stunt by Vadra had anything to do with the collective Congress effort to ensure that Rahul Gandhi always appears the smartest person in the room, a significant challenge in and of itself. And party insiders confided in us that it was definitely not the case. It was pointed out to Vadra that he could not seriously hope to understand how the common man feels by just getting himself on a bicycle on a hot day. He shut the critic up with an ‘Are you serious’ stare.

Party seniors suspect that Mausami Singh is part of a well orchestrated conspiracy to snatch the limelight from Vadra during the PR event. Shashi Tharoor, on the other hand, considers the fall as divide providence that was meant to reveal to the world the indefatigable vigour of Vadra’s aura the psychokinetic capabilities of which forced Mausami Singh off the bicycle when she embarked upon an unapproved line of questioning. Such robustness demanded immediate subservience, concluded Tharoor.

Rakesh Tikait was led to believe that it is an attempt to malign the farmer protests and he could not stop his tears from flowing in abundance. He was relieved to learn that nobody was actually holding him responsible for the mishap Mausami Singh suffered. Yogendra Yadav declared in his naturally slimy voice that the ‘journalist’ fell off her cycle because she did not demand the repeal of his farm laws.

The most aggrieved party, however, was the Samajwadi Party. The cycle is the official symbol of the party and Akhilesh Yadav concluded that people falling off a cycle is not a good omen. The BJP was quick to point out that this is what happens when you choose the cycle on election day. Pollsters believe that Robert Vadra riding a cycle as a protest could be a hint that the Congress party and Samajwadi Party will fight the UP Assembly Elections together next year.

Meanwhile, the Congress party is glad that the Puducherry Government was not the only thing that fell on Monday. Sources within India Today clarified that Mausami Singh did not fall intentionally to demonstrate her solidarity with the Puducherry Unit of the Congress party. But given the proclivities of the mainstream media, that possibility cannot be ruled out.

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K Bhattacharjee
Black Coffee Enthusiast. Post Graduate in Psychology. Bengali.

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