Home Media Media Olympig(c)s - Gold Rush for India

Media Olympig(c)s – Gold Rush for India

Rio Olympics 2016 are done and dusted. It was a mixed Olympics for India, while Indian athletes like Dipa Karmarkar, Sakshi Malik and P V Sindhu broke into uncharted territory for us, old hands like Abhinav Bindra narrowly missed out on medals. India for long has struggled to translate its huge potential into medals. But there maybe one section of India, which could win medals after medals for us: Indian media. What if there were Olympics only for media persons? We feel the following would certainly win awards:

Archery

Arnab
On target without aiming

- Advertisement - - Article resumes -

We can hope for two medals here: first for impeccable aim even when target is fuzzy, and a second, for catching a flying arrow, an udta teer, from mid-air. Shooting is considerably easier, catching it mid-air is nigh impossible, but our journalists have done it.

Arnab shot an unnamed arrow a few weeks back on some “pro-Pakistan doves”. He did not name his target, but shot right at the bulls-eye. And out of nowhere, Barkha Dutt jumped and took the teer, declaring to the whole world that she was the one who gets support from Hafiz Saeed, who Arnab had attacked for being pro-Pakistan.  Two medals guaranteed!

Men’s Boxing

No contest here. Seldom has an Indian pugilist made name in USA, that too at the biggest arena possible: Madison Square Garden.

Fake like a Butterfly, Sting Operation like a Bee

 

Men’s Gymnastic

Rajdeep Sardesai could well be our star at the Olympics. A self confessed “monkey-balancer”, Rajdeep tends to oer-balance sometimes, especially if credit is due to BJP:

Using his trademark “moral compass”, Rajdeep would be a fine gymnast on the tricky balancing beams at Olympics. The only worry would be Rajdeep losing his mental balance if a certain Kejriwal were nearby.

4 x 100 metres relay

Relay racing needs speed and coordination. Speed: for individual participants to run across their designated terrain, coordination: to pass the baton on to your team-mate. If Indian media outlets such as NDTV, CNN IBN, Aaj Tak and ABP News team up, then we can see wonders happening. Take the case of Award Wapsi relay last year. The baton of intolerance was passed seamlessly between Barkha and Rajdeep and Zaka Jacob and Aveek Sarkar, culminating into a fine victory for Nitish Kumar’s patchwork coalition. This was in fact a repeat show, the first example being the Christians under Attack narrative earlier in 2015. Such speed and coordination is sure to bag us some medals.

aveek sarkar
Insane Bolt-i

Synchronised Swimming

Synchronised swimming is relatively easy. Your partner is visible to you, there is music playing, and you are swimming in harmless water. But our journalists swim in the treacherous waters of social media, where Bhakts are waiting to pounce on them. In such a situation, when your partner is far away, synchronisation can be very hard. Especially if the matter is a drab PTA meeting, one needs special talent to make it an award winning performance. But fear not, our media mavens are adept:

In-sync

Partner in crime

Look at the synchronisation. AAP holds a PTA meeting, Barkha congratulates, Rajdeep glorifies a meeting to the level of real infrastructure work (notice the fine gymnastic balance also), and Sagarika instantly retweets! All over in a few hours! Gold guaranteed.


Sharing is caring - Share This Post and Support:
We need your support to survive in the media industry. Please consider paying us for the content we produce:

To know more about these payments, please click here.


Most read articles recently

Here is what RVS Mani, bureaucrat of Congress era, has to say about Hemant Karkare and his involvement in ‘Saffron terror’ narrative

With reference to Hemant Karkare, RVS Mani makes some startling revelations in his book.

Read details: Rahul Gandhi lands in a soup over his Amethi nomination, scrutiny postponed after questions raised on his British citizenship

After four objections filed against Rahul Gandhi's nomination from Amethi, scrutiny of his nomination postponed by 2 days

With Rahul Gandhi contempt notice up for hearing, CJI says allegations to dissuade him for hearing important cases

CJI Gogoi also said, in response to the sexual harassment allegations, that this is a pressure tactic to dissuade him from hearing important cases that are up for hearing next week.

Ravish Kumar breaks silence, condemns his brother accused in the Bihar sex scandal

He asked his brother to surrender before the police by 31st April, failing which he will blacken his TV screen.

Chief Justice of India alleges ‘larger plot’ and pressure tactics after leftist websites break story of alleged sexual harassment

Today, the Chief Justice of India, Ranjan Gogoi was accused of sexual harassment by a former employee.

Congress dare not say a word on Sadhvi Pragya and here’s why

Sadhvi Pragya suffered unspeakable torture under police custody for eight years, to the extent that it left her paralysed, during the Congress regime

BJP wants to get me killed: Hardik Patel alleges after a man slaps him in public rally

It is good he didn't have a gun or he would have shot me: Hardik Patel accuses BJP of trying to get him killed after he got slapped

Man who slapped Hardik Patel at a rally in Gujarat explains why he did it

Taran Gujjar, the man who slapped Hardik Patel, explained that he had a problem with Hardik Patel shutting Gujarat down when "he wants to" while saying that Hardik thinks of himself a "Gujarat's Hitler".

Another Nirbhaya like incident in Karnataka? Civil Engineering student’s body found half-burnt and hanging from a tree in Raichur

In a barbaric incident, the burnt body of a civil engineering student identified as Madhu has been found in Raichur, Karnataka, shocking the conscience of the people.

Latest articles

Connect with us

156,210FansLike
128,961FollowersFollow
53,942SubscribersSubscribe

Don't miss these


Sharing is caring - Share This Post and Support: