Don’t touch Nidhi’s Air Conditioner : Cut down on your Diwali crackers instead

Ms Nidhi Razdan is angry. The Executive Editor of NDTV has just had it with India’s big bad government shoving its decisions down her throat.

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The government is considering making it mandatory for manufacturers to make 24 C the default setting on all their air conditioners. A default setting, you know, like a mobile phone. Or as someone on Twitter pointed out, like taps are kept turned off by default. The nanny state isn’t stopping you from changing the settings on your AC, any more than it is stopping you from turning on the tap in your house.

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And why is the government doing this? Because Air Conditioners freaking wreaks havoc on the environment. Air Conditioners use refrigerants … their manufacturing requires HFCs (Hydro Fluoro Carbons). These are among the worst greenhouse gases, with the ability to warm the planet at thousands of times the pace of carbon dioxide. In fact, they are so bad for the environment that representatives from nearly 200 countries met especially in Vienna to come up with a global accord to put a lid on these things.

Yes, yes … we know Nidhi Razdan gets it. Air Conditioners are terrible for the environment and you got to keep the ice caps from melting, the polar bears from disappearing and the sea level from rising and swallowing up the planet. She is the executive editor of NDTV. Wouldn’t she know?

But you see, an air conditioner is something that Nidhi probably uses. She is likely part of the small fraction of Indians who can afford them. Isn’t there a better way to save the planet? Something that does not inconvenience the aristocracy?

Today the aristocrats are being made to press an extra button or two on their air conditioners. Only God knows what bigger sacrifices they will be asked to make tomorrow. This must be the beginning of fascism!

Surely there is a better way. A way to save the environment on the backs of hundreds of millions of ordinary Indians instead of executive editors at NDTV.

Found it!

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Caught red-handed! These terrorists who were gathering ammunition to destroy the air that everyone (including aristocratic TV anchors) have to breathe in. Just look at their faces. See the pure evil.

Throw these people in jail. Don’t you dare touch Nidhi’s air conditioner.

Remember the 3 infants, aged between 6 and 14 months, who approached the Supreme Court against Diwali crackers in 2015? Unconfirmed sources are telling me that the children might approach the court again, this time demanding “Azaadi” for Executive Editors of news channels to use their air conditioners as much as possible. And you must necessarily fall for emotional blackmail when people file petitions in the name of children.

So, please support Executive Editors of English news channels who need to have their AC working at full blast. If not, you are not just evil, you also hate children. So shame on you!

Abhishek Banerjee is a math lover who may or not be an Assistant Professor at IISc Bangalore.

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