Saturday, May 8, 2021
Home Variety Satire Diary of a Delhi Liberal: Citizenship Amendment Act, Bengal burning and Rahul Gandhi

Diary of a Delhi Liberal: Citizenship Amendment Act, Bengal burning and Rahul Gandhi

To summarise, the Delhi Liberals support and oppose citizenship for every illegal immigrant at the same time.

Dear Diary,

What a week diary, what a fantastic week. Finally, after numerous failed attempts since May 2014, we have successfully managed to set fire to India. Ok we are getting ahead of ourselves, let us go back and tell you how it all happened.

So that useless body called Indian Parliament passed a bill that guaranteed citizenship to persecuted minorities from Pakistan, Afghanistan and Bangladesh. We rightly opposed it, since you know diary, the bill kept minority Muslims of these Islamic countries out of the bill. Our friends in media tried their best to prove that Muslims are the minorities in Pakistan and Bangladesh but alas, they failed.

However, the bill gave us the opportunity we needed to burn this country down. Assam shut down because they were opposing citizenship to anyone. Bengal started burning because illegals there demanded citizenship for everyone. Being a liberal, we supported both these stands because being liberal means to be liberal with your principals. So, in summary, we support citizenship for every illegal immigrant now and we also oppose citizenship for every illegal immigrant now.

The week also saw the return of Rahul Gandhi diary, Rahul 2.0 is here! He stormed into Delhi and shook the roots of fascist BJP empire from Ramlila ground where he tore into that Savarkar fellow. He was on fire, diary, fire. His roar made Modi tremble so much that Modi fell down on the stairs in Kanpur! It told us that Simba is back, to claim his rightful throne of Delhi from evil hyenas.

There was some sad news as well during the week diary, but that is life, everything can’t be perfect. Democracy died in Karnataka as BJP won the bypolls to maintain their majority in the assembly. With overwhelming percentage of people voting for BJP, it signalled an end of democracy in the state and told everyone that fascism is here to stay. If people of Karnataka continue to behave this way, we may have to exclude them from our Dravidanadu project, and form our new country without them.

On personal front diary, it was another rewarding week. We got so many donations for our charities this week that we could book ourselves a trip to New York City. We will be there to see the ball drop at Times Square to bring in the new year 2020. Till next week diary, ciao.

  Support Us  

Whether NDTV or 'The Wire', they never have to worry about funds. In name of saving democracy, they get money from various sources. We need your support to fight them. Please contribute whatever you can afford

Liberals of Delhi
Bullshitting sitting in Lutyens Delhi.

Related Articles

Trending now

Iran: 20 year old youth Alireza Fazeli Monfared beheaded by half brother, cousins for being gay

Alireza Fazeli Monfared, a 20 year old Iranian youth, was murdered by his brother and cousins due to his sexual orientation.

Did BJP leader Tejasvi Surya ‘apologise’ for his alleged ‘communal’ remarks on the BBMP bed scam? Here are the facts

After Tejasvi Surya took the names of 17 employees in the BBMP case who are Muslims, Congress party and media houses had attacked him

Chinese research paper, published 6 years ago by Chinese military backed authors, discussed weaponising Coronavirus: Reports

A 2015 research paper by Chinese scientists reveals nefarious plans to weaponise the SARS Coronavirus against the world.

Swati Chaturvedi accused of plagiarizing article on Himanta Biswa Sarma by Hindustan Times editor

Swati Chaturvedi has been accused of plagiarizing an article by Zia Haq, Associate Editor at Hindustan Times.

Subramaniam Swamy calls S Jaishankar a ‘waiter’ and says he tested positive for COVID: Netizens fume, EAM clarifies

Subramanian Swamy stoked controversy after he targeted Dr S Jaishankar by referring to him as a 'waiter' and claiming he was COVID positive

Arvind Kejriwal govt expels 7 journalists from Whatsapp group after report critical of govt handling of oxygen crisis, senior journalists keep mum

The Arvind Kejriwal government has been the darling of the media for a long time but it seems to want absolute devotion

Recently Popular

Comedian Sanket Bhosale who had featured in ad mocking Rahul Gandhi booked for violating Covid-19 norms in Punjab

A week after the vandalism by the Congress workers in Mumbai, the Congress-led Punjab government has now booked comedian Sanket Bhosale, the actor featured in the advertisement, on the pretext of violating Covid-19 regulations during his wedding.

Meet AAP’s ‘Delhi ke Nirmata’: Who is Navneet Kalra, the businessman on the run after oxygen hoarding scandal was busted

Oxygen Concentrators have been found at Khan Chacha, Nege & Ju bar and Town Hall restaurants in Delhi, all owned by Navneet Kalra

Cricketer Irfan Pathan accused of extra-marital affair with cousin sister, girl’s in-laws allege fake dowry case

According husband of the woman, the relationship between his wife and Irfan Pathan goes back a long time ago and continues even now

Arvind Kejriwal govt expels 7 journalists from Whatsapp group after report critical of govt handling of oxygen crisis, senior journalists keep mum

The Arvind Kejriwal government has been the darling of the media for a long time but it seems to want absolute devotion

Asianet News journalist calls Bengalis ‘Pakistanis’, says no use showing ‘Sanghis’ getting thrashed in times of Covid-19

Asianet News has issued an apology after their journalist said that they are deliberately not covering Bengal violence.

This only hurts nation: Several CMs, including YS Jagan Mohan Reddy slam UPA’s Jharkhand CM for petty politics over call by PM Modi

Jharkhand CM Hemant Soren took potshots at PM Modi, after he called to inquire about ongoing Coronavirus pandemic in the State
- Advertisement -

 

Connect with us

254,866FansLike
539,927FollowersFollow
24,300SubscribersSubscribe