Sunday, November 29, 2020
Home Variety Satire Diary of a Delhi Liberal: Citizenship Amendment Act, Bengal burning and Rahul Gandhi

Diary of a Delhi Liberal: Citizenship Amendment Act, Bengal burning and Rahul Gandhi

To summarise, the Delhi Liberals support and oppose citizenship for every illegal immigrant at the same time.

Dear Diary,

What a week diary, what a fantastic week. Finally, after numerous failed attempts since May 2014, we have successfully managed to set fire to India. Ok we are getting ahead of ourselves, let us go back and tell you how it all happened.

So that useless body called Indian Parliament passed a bill that guaranteed citizenship to persecuted minorities from Pakistan, Afghanistan and Bangladesh. We rightly opposed it, since you know diary, the bill kept minority Muslims of these Islamic countries out of the bill. Our friends in media tried their best to prove that Muslims are the minorities in Pakistan and Bangladesh but alas, they failed.

However, the bill gave us the opportunity we needed to burn this country down. Assam shut down because they were opposing citizenship to anyone. Bengal started burning because illegals there demanded citizenship for everyone. Being a liberal, we supported both these stands because being liberal means to be liberal with your principals. So, in summary, we support citizenship for every illegal immigrant now and we also oppose citizenship for every illegal immigrant now.

The week also saw the return of Rahul Gandhi diary, Rahul 2.0 is here! He stormed into Delhi and shook the roots of fascist BJP empire from Ramlila ground where he tore into that Savarkar fellow. He was on fire, diary, fire. His roar made Modi tremble so much that Modi fell down on the stairs in Kanpur! It told us that Simba is back, to claim his rightful throne of Delhi from evil hyenas.

There was some sad news as well during the week diary, but that is life, everything can’t be perfect. Democracy died in Karnataka as BJP won the bypolls to maintain their majority in the assembly. With overwhelming percentage of people voting for BJP, it signalled an end of democracy in the state and told everyone that fascism is here to stay. If people of Karnataka continue to behave this way, we may have to exclude them from our Dravidanadu project, and form our new country without them.

On personal front diary, it was another rewarding week. We got so many donations for our charities this week that we could book ourselves a trip to New York City. We will be there to see the ball drop at Times Square to bring in the new year 2020. Till next week diary, ciao.

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Liberals of Delhi
Bullshitting sitting in Lutyens Delhi.

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