I hate my country and I want you to stop questioning my patriotism

Gentle readers, I must inform you, my frame of mind as I write this is far from cheerful. Infact if I could afford a moment of candidness, last few years weigh heavily on my shoulder.

As you might have guessed I, of course, refer to persecution unleashed by that Rowlingnian blackguard, Narendra Modi. I tremble at the transformation of this country from a liberal democratic republic to fourth Reich under coercive majoritarianism of khaki chaddis.

This was not how it was supposed to happen. There we were happy as a clam, planning the succession of the prince charming with dimples, when all of a sudden, we found ourselves getting strangled by the intolerable intolerance, as bleak and as dispiriting as when Anne Frank had to hide in the closet, or when my maid failed to show up for a week.

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If only that were the extent of our indignities, we could have stomached it, but no, that were not to be. To add insult to our injury, we find ourselves besieged by the internet hindus.

Nowadays my friends and I can’t express opinions on any subject without these black shirts jumping on us about “truth” and “accountability “.  And all said and done, it is their cultlike obsession with such primitive superstition which is of utmost concern, if not alarm.

What these simple-minded thugs do not realize is that our liberal order can not be based on such problematic constructs. Because truth is gendered, and patriarchal, also heteronormative and privileged.Which is why if we sincerely believe in a better future, we at all cost should ignore reality. If that doesn’t work we should shut our eyes and cover our ears unless it is gone. And since we wish for a better future, asking accountability for our exalted opinion is not just churlish but bordering on blasphemous.

Make no mistake, our mission is nothing short of sacred, we are guardians of light in this area of darkness, light first brought from the blessed Arabia by Muhammad Bin Qasim, and passed over to successive generations entrusted with protecting and spreading this divine revelation to this blighted land of superstitions, of idolatry, of ridiculous notions such as respect to all faith.

Which is why, the best thing to happen to this land is us, selflessly trying to bring the wretched subhuman Hindus to enlightenment. Which is why our real heroes are Afzal Gurus and Yaqub Memon, who sacrifice life to bring true civilization to the repellent barbarians, and not simpletons like Unnikrishnan and Hanumanthappa who died to save Brahammanical status quo.

It is necessary that we defend our right to curse this godforsaken land, to pray for its destruction because we must remember, our rights are inalienable , just like our morning tea and crustless toast.

– @doubtinggaurav


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