Monday, January 18, 2021
Home Politics Ha-Laal Salaam - Amendment to the communist constitution

Ha-Laal Salaam – Amendment to the communist constitution

Yesterday, some high profile communists woke up in the morning and proceeded to solve the issue of declining numbers of gullible cadres. It was noticed since long that every time communist leaders gave a public speech, only cattle appeared as audience and even they did not show the courtesy to stay till the end and ran away after chewing all the revolutionary pamphlets.

This prompted all the comrades, draped in different hues of Red, join hands to meet in Venezuela. The location was strategic. It was carefully chosen after taken into consideration the declining economy of the country under a fascist capitalist. They chose Venezuela so all the Indian comrades could learn how to apply Venezuelan economic policies in India.

They passed several amendments to the communist constitution to ensure they could lure the youth of India and convert them into fellow comrades.

The amendments are as follows:

  1. Comrades will use ‘Ha-Laal salaam’ instead of ‘Laal Salaam’ to make themselves popular among true proletariat people – the Muslims.
  2. Beef will be made free for all to take revenge against the cows that keep chewing the revolutionary pamphlets.
  3. Communism will be called as Candy Crushism to make it popular among the masses.
  4. Communist leaders will open baby day care centres so that babies can brainwashed. Comrades have to be converted young. This decision was taken after the realisation that it is too late to brainwash these youngsters once they get an education.
  5. Baby cadres will be recruited after they are able to babble ‘Ha-Laal Salaam’.
  6. Atleast 1,000 communist JNU scholars will be employed to find the real caste certificate of Narendra Modi so that his Brahmin origins are substantiated. They will be remunerated for their work in kind with alcohol and beef.
  7. Communist leaders will try to hire Dhinchak Pooja to sing communist songs to increase popularity.
  8. Bullet train was comdemned for its high speed and it was decided that every indian will be convinced to use donkey carts as alternative mode of transport.
  9. Final decision was to change the caterer for poverty oriented seminars so that red carrot halwa is added in the lunch menu.

Ha-laal Salaam.

  Support Us  

Whether NDTV or 'The Wire', they never have to worry about funds. In name of saving democracy, they get money from various sources. We need your support to fight them. Please contribute whatever you can afford

Related Articles

Trending now

Waste of talent, resources and time: I watched Tandav on Amazon Prime so you don’t have to

Tandav on Amazon Prime would've died its own slow, painful death and vanished without a whimper has it not got the attention it got in past few days.

After mouthing platitudes over farmer protest in India, Justin Trudeau’s police cracks down on protestors in Toronto

People in Toronto had taken to the streets to protest against the arbitrary closure of businesses and job loss due to lockdown.

Uttar Pradesh surpasses its paddy purchase target two months in advance, makes record payment to farmers

While the state government has surpassed the procurement target, Yogi Adityanath has instructed that the procurement of produce will continue in the state.

Pakistan claims India staged Pulwama attack after Mumbai Police leaks chat to embarrass Arnab, Republic hits back: Details

Pakistan has now issued a statement on the nonsensical controversy surrounding the private WhatsApp chats of Arnab Goswami

Shiv Sena to contest West Bengal Assembly elections

Shiv Sena leader Sanjay Raut today took to Twitter to announce that the party will contest upcoming elections in West Bengal.

’Guilty until proven innocent?’: Ex-BARC chief’s daughter makes yet another appeal to Maharashtra CM as her father’s health deteriorates

Ex-BARC chief Partho Dasgupta was hospitalised after health deteriorated in judicial custody following his arrest in the TRP case

Recently Popular

British-Pakistani singer Zayn Malik says he loves India and fans can’t keep calm

Recently, Zayn Malik was heard singing Mohammad Rafi's Chaudavi Ka Chand in the track Tightrope.

What the Nidhi-Harvard story reveals about our world: Get off your high horse, you are not that special, anyway

Liberal journalist, Nidhi Razdan, thought she had received an offer from Harvard University to become an Associate Professor of journalism.

‘Not a single NPA in the three decades of its existence,’ Adani Group rubbishes Subramanian Swamy’s allegations

On Friday, BJP MP Subramanian Swamy had put out allegations on Twitter against Adani accusing him of non-payment of loans worth Rs 4.5 lakhs, which has allegedly turned into an NPA.

Congress admits Mumbai police leaked Arnab Goswami chats: Here are all the wild conspiracy theories they generated

Prithviraj Chavan has admitted that it was the Mumbai Police which leaked the private WhatsApp chats of Arnab Goswami.

Condom over Shivling: Netizens slam actress Sayoni Ghosh for desecrating Hindu symbol, expose her dubious ‘account hacked’ claim

Saayoni Ghosh claimed that her account was hacked and she didn't posted the image in 2015, but netizens proved she is lying

Pakistan claims India staged Pulwama attack after Mumbai Police leaks chat to embarrass Arnab, Republic hits back: Details

Pakistan has now issued a statement on the nonsensical controversy surrounding the private WhatsApp chats of Arnab Goswami

Gujarat: Ram Mandir fund collection rally attacked again, riots in 2 villages of Kutch

Hindu rallies to collect funds for the Ram Mandir attacked in two locations in Kutch, Gujarat.

Waste of talent, resources and time: I watched Tandav on Amazon Prime so you don’t have to

Tandav on Amazon Prime would've died its own slow, painful death and vanished without a whimper has it not got the attention it got in past few days.

Pakistan: Demand for an independent ‘Sindhudesh’ intensifies, placards of PM Modi raised

The demand for a free Sindh nation, Sindhudesh, has been a long-standing demand of the people of the province.

After mouthing platitudes over farmer protest in India, Justin Trudeau’s police cracks down on protestors in Toronto

People in Toronto had taken to the streets to protest against the arbitrary closure of businesses and job loss due to lockdown.

‘Web Series Tandav can hurt religious harmony’: UP Police files FIR against makers, police team to be sent to Mumbai

An FIR has been filed in the Hazratganj Police Station in Lucknow against the makers of 'Tandav'.

Uttar Pradesh surpasses its paddy purchase target two months in advance, makes record payment to farmers

While the state government has surpassed the procurement target, Yogi Adityanath has instructed that the procurement of produce will continue in the state.

Pakistan claims India staged Pulwama attack after Mumbai Police leaks chat to embarrass Arnab, Republic hits back: Details

Pakistan has now issued a statement on the nonsensical controversy surrounding the private WhatsApp chats of Arnab Goswami

Fake letter on Delhi BJP’s letterhead circulated containing derogatory comments and inciting violence against protesting farmers

The fake letter from BJP leader Rajesh Bhatia contains derogatory remarks for farmers and incites BJP workers for violence against farmers

Shiv Sena to contest West Bengal Assembly elections

Shiv Sena leader Sanjay Raut today took to Twitter to announce that the party will contest upcoming elections in West Bengal.

Bihar: Transgenders to be recruited into police either through direct appointment or competitive exam, reservations to be provided

The Bihar Police will now recruit people from the transgender community into its ranks and provide them reservations.

Connect with us

245,563FansLike
496,912FollowersFollow
22,800SubscribersSubscribe