Thursday, May 6, 2021
Home Politics Ha-Laal Salaam - Amendment to the communist constitution

Ha-Laal Salaam – Amendment to the communist constitution

Yesterday, some high profile communists woke up in the morning and proceeded to solve the issue of declining numbers of gullible cadres. It was noticed since long that every time communist leaders gave a public speech, only cattle appeared as audience and even they did not show the courtesy to stay till the end and ran away after chewing all the revolutionary pamphlets.

This prompted all the comrades, draped in different hues of Red, join hands to meet in Venezuela. The location was strategic. It was carefully chosen after taken into consideration the declining economy of the country under a fascist capitalist. They chose Venezuela so all the Indian comrades could learn how to apply Venezuelan economic policies in India.

They passed several amendments to the communist constitution to ensure they could lure the youth of India and convert them into fellow comrades.

The amendments are as follows:

  1. Comrades will use ‘Ha-Laal salaam’ instead of ‘Laal Salaam’ to make themselves popular among true proletariat people – the Muslims.
  2. Beef will be made free for all to take revenge against the cows that keep chewing the revolutionary pamphlets.
  3. Communism will be called as Candy Crushism to make it popular among the masses.
  4. Communist leaders will open baby day care centres so that babies can brainwashed. Comrades have to be converted young. This decision was taken after the realisation that it is too late to brainwash these youngsters once they get an education.
  5. Baby cadres will be recruited after they are able to babble ‘Ha-Laal Salaam’.
  6. Atleast 1,000 communist JNU scholars will be employed to find the real caste certificate of Narendra Modi so that his Brahmin origins are substantiated. They will be remunerated for their work in kind with alcohol and beef.
  7. Communist leaders will try to hire Dhinchak Pooja to sing communist songs to increase popularity.
  8. Bullet train was comdemned for its high speed and it was decided that every indian will be convinced to use donkey carts as alternative mode of transport.
  9. Final decision was to change the caterer for poverty oriented seminars so that red carrot halwa is added in the lunch menu.

Ha-laal Salaam.

  Support Us  

Whether NDTV or 'The Wire', they never have to worry about funds. In name of saving democracy, they get money from various sources. We need your support to fight them. Please contribute whatever you can afford

Related Articles

Trending now

As ‘journalist’ spread hate against RSS affiliate Sewa Bharti, here is how they are giving it their all in troubled COVID-19 times

"Such propaganda and lies do not affect us", said Sewa Bharti Delhi head Rajesh Agarwal in response to 'The Wire' journalist's Tweet against them

After continuously demanding 976 MT of oxygen, Delhi CM says they will open 9,000-9,500 new oxygen beds if they get 700 MT daily

Delhi CM says they will open 9000-9500 new oxygen beds if they get 700 MT oxygen per day, implying the current demand is much less

Times Group and The Wire’s editor spread misleading claims over FICCI letter to NDMA about ventilators: Here is what FICCI said

FICCI clarified they never suggested any negligence by the government in distribution of ventilators manufactured under PM CARES Fund

After TMC leaders denying post-poll violence, Mamata Banerjee announces compensation for kin of victims

Mamata Banerjee has claimed that around 16 people have died in the post -poll violence, almost equal from BJP and TMC, and oner person from the Sanjukta Morcha.

Black Lives Matter, a Facebook post and how I got censored: Big Tech, freedom of speech and the overall hypocrisy of the Ultra Left

On 11 February 2021, my Facebook account of 13 years was disabled without reason and it is time we talk about the Ultra Left's hypocrisy

Exposing the bias of Western media: Old video of Azerbaijan President goes viral. Here’s what he said

In the old video, the Azerbaijan President was asked about press freedom in his country.

Recently Popular

‘Out of control’ Chinese rocket falling back on Earth and no one knows where it is going to crash: Details

After launching space station hub, China's Long March 5B is doing 27,600km/h in failing orbit, with eventual crash site unknown.

Birbhum SP denies reports of rape of polling agents in Bengal’s post-poll violence

In light of the bloodshed and unspeakable atrocities committed against its party workers, the BJP has announced a nationwide dharna on May 5.

Bengal post-poll violence: TMC goons attack BSF jawans, set their homes on fire, Network 18 journalist reveals

Earlier, TMC Chief and West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee had demonised the central paramilitary forces. She had even urged the party supporters to 'gherao' them during elections.

21-year-old college student raped and murdered in Medinipur district in West Bengal, 3 including a woman arrested

West Bengal police arrested 2 masons and their female aide for rape and murder of a college student, who have confessed to the crime

Aam Aadmi Party’s Raghav Chadha defies logic while giving calculations on cryogenic tanks and medical oxygen

One feels that if Aam Aadmi Party leaders focus on resolving the oxygen crisis instead of overusing their tiny brain for absurd calculations, they could perhaps save a few lives.

Banished by Twitter and Facebook, former US President Donald Trump launches his own communications platform

Trump's senior advisor Jason Miller additionally informed that this is not the social media platform they talked about and that the plans to launch the same remain intact.
- Advertisement -

 

Connect with us

254,770FansLike
538,485FollowersFollow
24,300SubscribersSubscribe