Tharoor’s defence of janeu dhaari, tilak brandishing Rahul is… well, Rahul (the adjective it has come to be)

How would cattle class people like us comprehend the sudden need of going to Kailash, Somnath, Ujjain and several other places? Tharoor says Congress has been doing it for long.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Rahul Gandhi is ‘Rahul Gandhi’. Jane Austen’s starting line from her classic text would change had she seen the remarkable dynamism of Rahul’s expressions. It might have been written, “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a coterie of charlatans to defend his incomprehensible charades.”

Rahul is the person who comes in to the third category of ‘fear not greatness’ quote from ‘Twelfth Night’. The only thing is, he hasn’t been able to justify the greatness thrust upon him, but yes, there are likes of Shashi Tharoor who do anoint him with Gangajal atop Sardar Patel’s tallest statue, more often than not. 

There is very less doubt that Shashi Tharoor is a well-read man, a man of letter, literally so too. He has given compelling arguments while exposing British loot in India. To hear him on anything but politics is a lesson in logical reasoning. But, when he flips out and uses words that place Rahul Gandhi as ‘the most thoughtful, best read Indian politician’, you wish Rahul Gandhi must exist on Earth #38 in a multiverse where he was stricken by Buddha’s hand. But that happens in DC Universe… or, maybe, in INC Universe too, we might just not know about it. 

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‘Not knowing about it’ is what Shashi Tharoor spoke at Times LitFest when he was asked about Rahul’s ‘temple run’. He said, “For the longest time, we felt it unseemly to parade our private beliefs publicly. We followed our faiths but didn’t feel obliged to demonstrate it publicly.” 

Exactly so. Not only the religious beliefs were not demonstrated publicly, but it seems Rahul also practices intellectual debates, thoughts and reasoning only in private. For once, you tend to believe what Shashi is saying about Rahul’s intelligence and thoughtfulness but then it doesn’t make sense because unlike putting on the janeu (holy thread) when forced to exhibit his religion, he hasn’t put on any intellectual words out in the open even in the face of being accepted as… let’s say ‘Rahul’, in single inverted commas. You get the drift. 

Who knows, he might be practising intellectual celibacy and has taken a vow in front of his deity that come what may, he would put on tilak, dhoti, yajnopaveet and even remember his gotra (if party demands as such), but he will not use his intellect that Tharoor so profoundly talks about. I respect a person’s religious beliefs as absurd and out of the worldly it might sound, so should you. 

Tharoor’s continued defence of Rahul’s actions and words exhibit a trait about people gifted as being a walking thesaurus. When you have the gift of words you can prove ‘Baby doll mai sone di‘ is a deeply philosophical song about a pure, incorruptible being (baby doll) caged inside a glittery fake world (duniya pittal di). 

With that gift you can attempt to prove anything but no one would understand that if your pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is affecting the diffusion process inside the respiratory system and mixing the harmful ash (of you know what) particles in your blood cells going to your brains and producing thoughts that get expressed in words like, “Rahul Gandhi is one of the most thoughtful, best-read Indian politicians on issues of religion and spirituality.” I know, it doesn’t make any sense, but nor does Tharoor’s words! 

There was one time when he defended INC’s dynasty culture and its utter lack of internal democracy by saying that dynasty was not anti-democracy and subject to the democratic will of the voters. “Our society is characterised by the transmission of talent through the gene pool. If one wants to become a Bollywood star, it helps if your father is a Bollywood star,” said Tharoor.

When you try to make sense of it all, you would realise that Tharoor’s words are a result of his supercalifragilisticexpialidocious state resulting out of his own intellect’s inside battles where he has to choose, if at all, how to defend the aura of ‘Rahul’ Rahul Gandhi. If there was a live webcast of Tharoor’s cranial activity, with confused neurones running from everywhere to everywhere, it will get a few million, badly needed, hits. By ‘badly needed’, I mean views and hits for Congress’ outreach programmes. 

Tharoor said, “Well before he was photographed going into temples, I have had conversations with him about religion and spirituality.” Think about it. Just pause and think if Rahul Gandhi would be able to pronounce and spell ‘spirituality’ in one go, let alone differentiate it from religion itself. But again, private things, public things. Bade log, badibadi baatein… 

How would cattle class people like us comprehend the sudden need of going to Kailash, Somnath, Ujjain and several other places? Shashi Tharoor says Congress has been doing it for long. He is right in saying so. We have seen the days when Congress’ symbol used to be a cow. We have seen this 31st October that Indira Gandhi had Rudraksha rosary around her neck, that was never stressed upon in any of her earlier images on her anniversary. 

We have been told, quite vociferously so, that Nehru was a Kashmiri Brahmin and Rahul, despite the confused and convenient choice of gotra inheritance from the maternal and paternal side, is of Dattatreya gotra. 

Dear Mr Tharoor, you come across as a person ‘suffering’ from sesquipedalianism, whose words are devoid of any actual comprehensible meaning when it is tried to be put in context. Maybe, like Rahul Gandhi you also seem to be practising your intellect either abroad or in private. How convenient it is to talk about principles, gene pool, and lineages, and then defend the sudden need of Hindutva deviation, not devotion, of the party. 

Who are you trying to fool with this thin facade of tilak on your and your party president’s forehead that you feel the need to counter it with ‘Nehruvian secularism’? So now, even secularism is Nehruvian? Why this consorted attempt to attach everything that exists, in an idea or tangible infrastructure of the nation, to Nehru? 

The truth is, Nehru’s greatest legacy lives on as Rahul Gandhi. Full stop. 

Ajeet Bharti

Editor | Author (Bakar Puran, Ghar Wapasi, There Will Be No Love)

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