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Physics Nobel: Why the CPIM might declare war on black holes

The black holes are out there somewhere, sucking everything in. The black holes are the ultimate form of the bourgeois, and we are not kidding

The 2020 Nobel Prize in Physics has gone to three scientists: Roger Penrose, Reinhard Genzel and Andrea Ghenz “for their discoveries about one of the most exotic phenomena in the universe, the black hole.”

Okay, but what does this have to do with the CPIM? What does sophisticated physics have to do with a political party? What if I told you that black holes are against the working class?

Yes, the “working class.” You know, workers on the factory floor, turning out everything we use from cars to cakes of soap. These workers could have a big and powerful enemy: black holes. Those things embedded in the dark recesses of distant galaxies could actually be sitting there and plotting against workers rights.

Cholbe na! We won’t let this happen!

Workers of the world unite. Seize those means of production. From Black Holes.

You must have some questions by now, the first being whether I have lost my mind. Yes, somewhat. Because I have been reading the official website of the Communist Party of India (Marxist). Let me present to you this essay from the CPI(M) website, titled “Dialectical Materialism and the Question of Black Holes.”

One of the offshoots of this theory is the proposition of the existence of objects, called the black holesas final stages in the development of certain types of stars. Such astronomical objects defy the principles of dialectical materialism, such as about the knowability of the world or of the existence of contradictory processes within such objects. If the black holes, as posited by the general theory of relativity, exist with the above properties, then it means that dialectical materialism does not hold, and will have to be discarded. Hence the question of black holes is of great importance. Here is a case where the question of defence of dialectical materialism is posed before the working class.

Among other things, this essay has sections on “The Theory of Relativity and Black Holes” as well as “The Special Theory of Relativity” and “Space time.” The foundations of Marxism are based on something called “Dialectical materialism.” The essay finds that the General Theory of Relativity and black holes are at odds with whatever dialectical materialism is. And therefore, the challenge before the working class is to fight black holes!

Yes, it is nonsensical. It is also on the official website of the CPI(M). And the reason that intellectuals don’t call out the nonsensical, anti-scientific thoughts of the CPI(M) is because the comrades have a stranglehold on media.

One of the ways that leftist intellectuals get you to respect Marxism is that they don’t tell you what it really is. More specifically, they don’t tell you how big Marxism is. They make you think that Marxism is just an economic philosophy, but it is much more than that. Marxism is something that has a prescription for everything : from how to make vaccines to how to do calculus to studying black holes.

If they told you that up front, you would know instantly that Marxism is pure nonsense. In fact, that is one of the telltale signs that something is nonsense: it has a prescription for everything. What if I told you I have this medicine that can cure cancer, AIDS, diabetes, coronavirus, common cold and has the side effect of making you win the lottery? You would know instantly that I’m lying and cheating.

That’s why the Marxist intellectuals don’t tell you that Karl Marx not only discovered the perfect economic system, he also explained the diversity of life, the origin of the universe and the principles of calculus. He might have died before they split the atom or put orbiting telescopes in space. But trust me, all knowledge is in his book. The only book. All discoveries of the past, present and future can be found in his book.

And when something appears to contradict the ideas of Marx, the Communist state has a simple solution for it: put the scientists in concentration camps.

And they did. Have you ever heard of Lysenkoism?

Unlikely, because your history book was probably written by a Marxist who took care to hide such embarrassing facts about the greatness of the Communist state.

Well, Lysenkoism is named after the “scientist” Tromfin Lysenko, who rejected Darwin’s evolution and developed a form of biology consistent with Marxist principles. He was no fringe character. He became the genetics director of the USSR Academy of Sciences and his ideas were proclaimed official doctrine of the Soviet Union as well as Communist East Germany, Czechoslovakia and Poland.

Every biologist finishing a PhD in any of these countries was required to state that their findings were consistent with Lysenkoism. Some 3000 scientists who disagreed were packed off to concentration camps and many were executed. Indeed, the CPI(M)’s heroes have done in the 20th century exactly what the Pope did in medieval times. Give some credit to the CPI(M)’s “historian” allies for managing to write the former out of history.

And here is where the Lysenkoism of the Communists is really not funny. Lysenkoism destroyed crop yields across the Soviet Union, resulting in famines. One of these was the Ukrainian famine of 1932-33, in which over 3 million people starved to death.

Yes, the Communists went against science and 3 million people died. Sadly, facts do not care about Communist superstition.

And that’s how it is. And yet, the comrades, through their control over intellectuals and journalists, have managed to smear the Hindu right as anti-science. Meanwhile, the comrades don’t even try to hide their anti-scientific beliefs. They put it up on their official website, confident that nobody will be able to embarrass them for it. That is how much confidence they have in the power of narrative.

Imagine, for instance, if a Hindu right wing organization were to put up on its official website that Bharatiyas must rise up against black holes and the General Theory of Relativity. Imagine the universal mocking that would follow. Every few days, you will come across a smug liberal mocking some village bumpkin for claiming miraculous properties of gaumutra. You will never see someone asking Comrade Yechury if the CPI(M) intends to hold a nationwide workers strike against black holes.

Come on, Comrade Yechury. We know you are only too comfortable with political lobbying in air conditioned rooms instead of hard fought politics on the ground. But for Lenin’s sake, this time they’ve gone too far. They’ve given a Nobel Prize to scientists studying black holes. Surely, you will stand up for the working class now. Come out and organize a Bharat Bandh at least.

The black holes are out there somewhere, sucking everything in. The black holes are the ultimate form of the bourgeois.

Cholbe na!

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Abhishek Banerjee
Abhishek Banerjee is a math lover who may or may not be an Associate Professor at IISc Bangalore. He is the author of Operation Johar - A Love Story, a novel on the pain of left wing terror in Jharkhand, available on Amazon here.  

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