At the onset, I would like to let everyone know that we pray for the safety of kids in Syria, Yemen, Libya and all other war-torn countries around the world. No one deserves this, least of all children. However, this post is not about them, this is about Aam Aadmi Party’s MLA Alka Lamba.
Despite breathing the Internet for survival, Alka Lamba’s tweet where she ‘prays for Syrian kids’ went unnoticed by me for almost a week. But the moment I set my eyes on it, I could not take them off.
#SyriaIsBleeding @UN Are you not able to protect our Children in #Syria ?
They are in pain,they are in tears,
they want our help,they are the Today n they are the future …
For God’s sake Pls Protect them.
My prayers for #syrianchildren
Being a Mother I can’t see them in pain. pic.twitter.com/jf4zirt8SV
— Alka Lamba (@LambaAlka) February 27, 2018
On 27th February, she tweeted to the United Nations, that being a mother, she cannot see the pain of Syrian children. It isn’t her concern for Syrian children that made everyone wonder what really goes on in her beautiful mind, but the images which accompanied them. Let us analyse the images in the sequence in which they appear in her tweet.
The first image in the series has a mirror image of a news channel, with Alka pointing her finger at the television screen (just in case we didn’t know where to look). Considering it is a mirror image, chances are it was taken in selfie mode, which also explains the poor quality of the image. Lamba is pointing her finger at the screen which, presumably, shows a Syrian kid in distress. If you’re wondering what it means, you should move to next image. But before you do, take a moment to learn a lesson in timing your selfies well. Look at this photograph. How beautifully that lonely teardrop hangs precariously on the edge of her lips. That! That is a beauty. That is the beauty of timing a picture perfectly. Let that thought stay with you.
The next image shows Lamba crying. Well, not exactly crying, she is ‘looking upset’. With freshly manicured hands, and a big diamond adorning her ring finger, Lamba has a drop of tear which has rolled down all the way to her lips (thank god it didn’t roll down further! The entire selfie would have been ruined, and we wouldn’t want that now, would we?). Her eyeliner game is on point and she’s clearly having a good hair day. But, hey, her heart goes out to Syrian children.
And then, as if on cue, the next picture shows her in so much pain because of what is happening in Syria that she has to look away. The selfie she has taken shows she cannot bear to look at the images on the screen. The tear which had rolled down to her lips in the previous image has now been wiped off (or has probably escaped because positioning the selfie camera with one’s eyes closed can be a challenging task). Thinking on toes and maintaining composure of clicking flawless selfies when you are distressed about dying children is perhaps a quality only AAP leaders possess.
Moving on to the last image in the series (one wishes Twitter allowed more than four images in one tweet because Lamba is a fascinating case study) the mirror image of the television screen is back.
So let’s get this straight. Lamba in all her winged eyeliner glory sat in front of the Television set and switched the ZeeNews (which is also hilarious because AAP lads keep whining about it being a ‘sanghi channel’). She then sees a Syrian child in distress. Her first thought upon seeing the travesty is “dear lord please help these children”. The mother’s heart cries out in distress. The Television is not paused, so one would imagine that she took the mirror image selfie of the kid because of crying, but anyway. At that point, she picks up her phone, puts the camera on, changes it to selfie mode, positions it with her one hand at a perfect angle and clicks a selfie while being inconsolably upset and teardrops rolling down her eyes. Then, she proceeds to upload those pictures (while sobbing, one would presume), because public posturing is what might get her some brownie points.
Baffling, isn’t it? If the Television is not paused, did she have her selfie camera ready because she knew what program would be on and she knew that she would need to click an image, cry later, and upload photos next? Or do we think we are attributing to malice what we can attribute to sheer stupidity? One would never know.
But the heart weeps. Perhaps legends like Alka aren’t meant to be understood. Or analysed. Greatness is never appreciated in its time. The glory of Alka Lamba is just meant to be admired from afar. The sheer brilliance of how incomprehensibly, mind-numbingly asinine an elected representative can be. It’s a thing of marvel.
The entire series of images is so bizarre that I spent hours analysing them. But in her defence, showing empathy for Syrian children is a step up in being compassionate from the one time she delayed rescue operations during a fire in Chandni Chowk by climbing fire brigade and later laughing about her feat. From spreading fake surveys to milking on tragedies, this AAP MLA is one of the prime examples of how not to be a leader.
Since Alka faces impending disqualification, I was scared that we might lose out most entertaining political diva. But all is not lost. If not politics, we have an alternate career suggestion for Alka. This is only so the world doesn’t lose this star and it remains to shine among the people, brightening up their mundane lives.
In the meantime, this is me. Not because I don’t love Alka. But because stupidity can be upsetting. For real.
Politically incorrect. Author, Flawed But Fabulous.