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BJP holds a top level meeting on job creation – leaked transcript

The leaked transcript would shock you!

Sources reveal that a top-level BJP meeting held a few months back to discuss the impact of media narrative of ‘no jobs’ and find ways to counter it despite data showing that the Modi government creating almost 15 million jobs every year. A leaked transcript of the same was sent to Opindia by a resident of Tughlak Road, Delhi. Since the source declined to authenticate the recording as true, we are merely reproducing it here for the readers to judge.

(The meeting begins)

AS: I would come straight to the point. This media cacophony of ‘There are no jobs’ is creating a big problem for us. If we can’t show enough jobs have been created, 2019 may become very difficult for us. We have to do something, now!

AJ: But how can you say jobs are not being created when the economy is growing at a healthy rate of 7.4%.

AS: I know that you know that. But, some economists have confused the people on whether these figures are trustworthy. And you know media, the eternal megaphone when it comes to fear-mongering, especially wh
en it is about us.

AJ: Well, I won’t recommend mass recruitment in government.  No way.

PM: I may have a solution. If we cannot show that we have created jobs, let us show the other indicators on the economy are robust and strong. We should be seen to be marching ahead, towards prosperity. We should show that the economy has ‘the Josh’.

PG: What do you suggest we do, Modiji?

PM: Tell me what are the indicators of an economy that is growing? How do you show that people have disposable incomes? How do you show that farmers are doing better? How do you show that the rural economy’s purchasing power is improving by leaps and bounds? Find answers to these questions and you would have a solution.

AJ: Well to answer your questions, sales of commercial vehicles is an important indicator of a growing economy as it is used as a proxy by many economists and market analysts. When people have disposable income, they buy a car or consumer durables, they go on vacation, in India or abroad, they take flights and stay in hotels, they dine out. Tractor sales numbers are an excellent proxy for the health of the agriculture economy. Sales figures for FMCG companies is an indicator of the rural economy. As far as the overall economy is concerned, tax collections, both GST and income tax, are the indicators of a healthy and growing economy.

PM: In that case the solution is simple. Organize your volunteers. Give them money to buy some vehicles. Say, one lakh trucks, two lakh tractors, two lakh cars and around five lakh two-wheelers. Let them put the vehicles to personal use. If they cannot afford to pay for fuel, let them leave the vehicles anywhere on the road. That would show that the economy is expanding, at a fast clip.

AJ: But Sir…

PM: Send around 20 lakh volunteers for a vacation with family. Whether they want to enjoy the beaches of Goa or ghats of Varanasi or visit Kumbh, leave it to their choice but they should necessarily take flights and not travel by trains or buses. Let them spend lavishly. Send some to foreign locations too. Let the public feel the impact of disposable income.

AJ: But, sir…

PM: I am not finished yet. Get some more to buy a lakhs of Televisions and high-end mobiles. Remember to ask them to buy only manufactured in India products, we should not forget to make in India here. Let the consumption of high-end items be visible.

PM: Get the volunteers to buy soaps, shampoos, creams, processed foods or anything else under FMCG in huge quantities. Don’t forget to make in India, again.

(Silence as PM continues)

PM: After that, tell them to open their Provident Fund accounts and deposit their PFcontribution themselves, let them show that they get around a lakh of rupees per month as salary income. Then tell them to get their PAN and deposit income tax, even if they don’t have a job or business and have no income. The income tax collection needs to be boosted by around two lakh crores. The GST collection would get boosted automatically due to all this buying.

PM (continuing): Let us show the world that Indians have jobs, they are earning, paying tax and boosting the consumption too. Now, tell me what you were saying, Jaitley ji.

AJ: A very good plan, sir. But a small glitch. How do we finance all this? Even by conservative estimates, all this would cost at least 2 to 2.5 lakh crores. Where would the money come from?

PM: What do you mean where would the money come from? Of course, Anil Ambani would pay. Just inform him and he would comply.

AJ: But the poor guy has no money, his tower business was sold to return bank loans, the communication business is sinking, lenders are baying for his blood. Even Navy has encashed the bank guarantee of 2500 crores. He is bankrupt.

PM: But he is getting a huge sum of money from Dassault for the JV, as an offset for the Rafale agreement?

AJ: Errr. How much is he getting, sir?

PM: Oh, that is big. He is getting full 780 Crores from Dassault over the next ten years. He can finance all of this.

(The transcript ends)


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Mahesh Jagga
Optimist, Right winger, Political student trapped in Business suit. Follow me at @maheshjagga

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